


All My Flowers Grew Back As Thorns

by rweoutofthewoods



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Did I say angst?, Flashbacks, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Klance endgame, M/M, Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Photographer Keith (Voltron), Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, Song: Call It What You Want (Taylor Swift), Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and taylor swift references, event planner lance, hunk/shay wedding, i'm sorry guys, klance are exes, lance/james griffin (voltron), lance/oc - Freeform, soulmate AU with a twist, things aren't how they seem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2019-10-25 08:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17722118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rweoutofthewoods/pseuds/rweoutofthewoods
Summary: Everybody has a soulmate, when your soulmate falls in love with you their flowers appear on your skin. But just because someone's your soulmate doesn't mean things are guaranteed to work out. Things with Lance's soulmate definitely don't.(AKA: the soulmate au but with a twist)





	1. Chapter 1

_ **Part one: Thorns** _

 

Lance was five the first time his mother first explained soulmates to him. She showed off the daisies winding up her arm, told him about the day they appeared when his father had fallen in love with her. It was only a week later when flowers started to bloom on his skin as she fell for him in turn. She told Lance that someday he might fall in love with someone and if the person was his soulmate then his flowers would grow on their skin. He excitedly asked what flowers he would have. His mother just shrugged and said:

“You’ll find out when you’re older.”

“But I want to find out now!” he whined.

She ruffled his hair and laughed “Enjoy being young for now, the time will come, no need to rush it.”

But that didn’t stop Lance from dreaming. As he got older he watched his siblings find their soulmates and he itched with impatience. He would spend hours daydreaming about what is soulmate would be like, what would their flowers look like on his skin? What would his look like on theirs? What was their name? How would they look? He made up stories about how he hoped they would be, made bucket lists of the things he wanted to do with them.

Lance was seventeen when his sister Veronica met her soulmate, a serious girl named Axca. He was happy for Veronica really, but he was also extremely jealous. He was the only person left in his family who hadn’t met their soulmate. And in his senior year of high school so many of his classmates already had their soulmates. Even his best friend Hunk had fallen in love with his soulmate Shay. Lance couldn’t help the sadness every time he saw Hunk with Shay, every time he saw his best friend’s yellow sunflowers on Shay’s wrist.

But Hunk reassured him that plenty of people didn’t find their soulmates until after high school. So Lance pushed aside his sadness and threw himself into college. And for his first year at Garrison University he forgot to worry about finding his soulmate, he focused on his classes working hard to make his family proud. He joined clubs and went to parties and he was happy, of course, his soulmate was still in the back of his mind but he figured that fate would bring them to him when the time was right.

Now seven years later Lance wished he could go back to that time. When his soulmate didn’t have a name or a face when the possibilities were endless and the world was wide open.

But now he knew his soulmate’s name, he knew their face, their favorite color, how they looked asleep beside him bathed in moonlight. He knew how his flowers looked on their skin and how theirs looked on his.

Which made it so much harder now that they were nothing but dust and thorns.

“Lance!”

“Huh?” He asked jerking out of his thoughts.

Pidge shook her head “I’ve been trying to ask you a question for like five minutes! Get your head out of outer space!”

“Oh sorry.” Lance sighed “What did you need?”

“Hunk wanted to know if you wanted a sandwich, he’s picking up food on his way over here.”

“Oh yeah! Tell him I want roast beef.”

She nodded and turned to her phone typing a quick message and then turning back to Lance. “So what were you thinking about that had you making that face?”

“What face?”

“Your kicked puppy face.”

“I don’t have a kicked puppy face!”

“You do! You were just making it!”

“No!”

The door to Lance’s apartment opened and Shay stepped in.

Pidge jumped up “Shay! Does Lance have a kicked puppy face?”

She smiled not at all phased by the argument she walked in on or Pidge who despite being a grown adult was standing on top of her chair and jumping. “Hm, yeah sorry Lance but I think you do.”

Lance sighed not bothering to argue, Shay never lied.

Pidge smiled smugly knowing that she’d won this round of ‘Completely Pointless Arguments with Lance and Pidge’ as Shiro used to call it.

Lance stuck his tongue out at Pidge and then turned to Shay “I think Hunk’s on his way, he’s getting sandwiches.”

“Oh yay, I’m so hungry. How has the wedding planning been going?”

“Pretty good!” Lance said jumping up “Allura gave me some more fabric swatches for the tablecloths so once Hunk gets here you guys should take a look at those so I can get the order out.”

Shay smiled “Sounds good. We can do that after dinner. I have to admit this is all so much easier than I thought it was going to be. I was worried it was going to be super stressful but with you as our planner things are going great! I guess I should have known after what an amazing job you did with Shiro and Adam’s wedding.”

Lance smiled brightly “What can I say? I’m good at my job.” He decided not to mention that Hunk and Shay’s wedding was going to be the last wedding he planned.

The door opened and Hunk burst through holding a bag of sandwiches and smelling very strongly of cookies and coffee, a scent Lance had come to associate with Hunk since he’d opened his last year café.

“I come bearing food.” He said giving Shay a kiss on the cheek. He turned to put the food on the table but stopped once he realized every inch was covered in papers and swatches of fabric. “Uh, maybe we should eat in the living room.”

“Yeah that’s probably a good idea.” Lance said eyeing his dining room table which he knew he wouldn’t be eating on until after he finished planning this wedding.

They paraded into Lance’s living room. Hunk and Shay sit on the couch, Pidge opts for the floor and Lance flings himself dramatically onto a chair switching the TV on. They ate in silence for a while until Pidge finished her sandwich and turned to Lance.

“So why were you making your kicked puppy face earlier?” It’s nonchalant enough but there’s a slight undertone of concern in her voice.

Lance sighed knowing he couldn’t argue about whether or not he had a ‘kicked puppy face’ anymore since Shay had already settled it. “I was just thinking about all the new events Allura added to my schedule today. Honestly I miss the days when she barely trusted me enough to plan one event by myself, now I have like twenty.” It was a lie, Lance just hoped none of his friends could see through it.

Pidge looked slightly suspicious but let it go turning instead to make fun of some singer on the TV’s awkward dance moves.

Lance yawned sitting back to watch the awkward performance, the singer was now attempting to twerk badly and Pidge was having a laughing fit while Hunk and Shay shook their heads and chuckled softly. Lance jumped up in front of the TV and proceeded to copy the singer shaking his hips stiffly and lip syncing seriously.

Shay laughed full out and Hunk snorted used to his best friends dramatics. Pidge was past the point of laughing rolling around on the ground in hysteric wheezing.

Hunk’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, reading the name of the caller he made his way out of the living room and away from his friends and fiancé who paid him no attention to busy laughing like maniacs.

“Hey.” He said answering it.

“Hey Hunk,” Keith’s rough voice said.

“What’s up man?”

“I wanted to know when you needed those pictures for the slideshow.”

“Oh any time you get can them to me, but preferably within the next few weeks.”

“Cool, and Shiro says he’s still open to help you put it together if you need.”

“Aw that’d be great. I’m so lucky I have talented friends who can help me put together my wedding.”

“Yeah, but in Shiro’s case he kind of owes you since you did all the deserts for his wedding.”

“Hm that’s true.”

“Yeah I—“

There was a shriek from the other room as Lance performed a little drop squatting down and batting his eyelashes sexily.

“Lance!” Pidge yelled, “Oh my god stop!” Lance did not stop instead he strutted around the living room using his water bottle as a microphone.

Hunk couldn’t stop himself from snorting as the singer finished her performance and Lance bowed.

“What was that sweet Katie? You wanted an encore? Someone put some good music on in here! Gimmie Taylor Swift!”

Unfortunately Shay obliged and Lance struck a pose as the first notes of Look What You Made Me Do started.

“I DON’T LIKE YOUR LITTLE GAMES!” he bellowed.

Shay let out a little whoop.

“Shay!” Hunk yelled from the dining room “Don’t encourage him!”

Shay shrugged Pidge shrieked hysterically.

“Um maybe I should go.” Keith said in his ear.

“Oh sorry man, got distracted. You don’t have to go unless you need to, Lance is just being an ass. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“No, no, that was it.” His voice was a little more ragged than usual.

“Are you okay Keith? You sound a little off.”

“Yeah I just…”

“What?”

“He sounds happy.”

“Who Lance?

Keith didn’t respond so Hunk took that as confirmation “Yeah, he is.”

“Okay. I’ve gotta go. I’ll upload all the photos to a hard drive so you get full quality and maybe I can drop them off at the café sometime?”

“Sounds great.”

“Cool, bye Hunk.”

“Bye Keith.”

Hunk hung up and turned to watch his best friend. He twirled Shay around serenading both her and Pidge with Taylor Swift. Hunk hadn’t been lying, Lance was finally happy after a year, but sometimes it felt like there was more to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell I like taylor swift?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, so you might have noticed that when I first posted this story it made a typo in the title and it was called 'all my flowers grew back as throns' so that's embarrassing. oops.  
> But I fixed it and now I'm posting another chapter so enjoy!

Keith didn’t much like photographing models. He couldn’t deny he was good at it, he’d shot for some pretty big magazines over the years and some of his pictures had thousands of likes on Instagram, he was good at it, but he preferred candids, photographing events, capturing people in motion, just living. Shoots with models never failed to wear him out.  
So Keith had to admit that after a long Friday of shooting in the city with some hotshot male model that was bratty and demanding, when he decided to drop off the hard drive for Hunk, it was for partly selfish reasons. Keith just needed a break and a cup of Hunk’s famous hot chocolate, also a visit to his brother.

So Keith dropped his equipment at his apartment, texted shiro asking to crash at his place and then set off on the hour-long commute out of New York City.

Ever since Keith moved to the city a year ago Shiro made a point of visiting him as often as possible, Keith knew Shiro wanted him to move back, but Shiro knew that there was no way Keith was going to do that.  
When he’d left their hometown for New York City he pretended it was for work, Shiro pretended he didn’t know Keith was pretending. And sure it was for his job, but while living in the city made things easier he could have continued working from home and commuting to the city as needed. No, the real reason he moved was to avoid him.  
Though with the Hunk and Shay’s wedding coming up Keith knew he couldn’t do it forever. He was going to be there, Keith just hoped he could stay as far away as possible.

When he arrived at Shiro and Adam’s house only Adam was there. Keith dropped his bags in the guest room and gave his brother-in-law a hug and a promise to be back for dinner. Then he was pulling on his jacket and hopping on his motorcycle. He smiled at the familiar sound of the engine. That was the worst part about moving, he couldn’t take his bike with him so it sat in Shiro’s garage gathering dust until Keith visited.

By the time he pulled up at Balmera Café, the sun had gone down and there was a closed sign hanging on the door. He paid it no attention stepping inside.

“Hey!” Hunk said excitedly as the bell jingled alerting him to Keith’s presence.

“Hey man.”

Hunk stepped out from behind the counter where he was sorting papers to give Keith a hug “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Uh yeah, I just got in like an hour ago, I’ve got the weekend off so I figured I’d come see Shiro and I could drop off the pictures for you.”

“Aw, thanks, Keith!”

“No problem. You wanna see them?”

“You bet! Just give me a sec.”

He disappeared into the back and returned a moment later carrying a laptop. Keith plugged in the hard drive and brought up the photos.

“Aw, I remember this.” Hunk said smiling softly as the first picture came up.

It was one Keith had taken at Shay’s twentieth birthday party. Hunk was smiling lovingly at her as she leaned over about to blow out the candles. You could plainly see the bright yellow sunflowers on her wrist. The whole picture was soft and golden, lit by the birthday candles. It was practically the definition of what people thought ideal soulmates looked like.

They went through the rest of the pictures Hunk laughing and making comments on each photo when they finished Hunk pulled him in for another hug.

“Thank you so much, Keith, these are amazing. My slideshow might just wind up being better than Shiro and Adam’s.”

Keith snorted “I didn’t realize it was a competition.”

Hunk blushed “Well I mean, it’s not. God, I’ve been hanging out with Pidge and Lance for too long.”

Keith ignored the way his heart skipped when he heard Lance’s name.

“Yeah well—“ Keith was interrupted as the door burst open and a tall golden and windswept boy stumbled in.

“Hunk! You’ll never believe what happened! That gorgeous girl Heather I was telling you about, I asked her out today and she said yes! Oh my god, and you said it’d never…” he trailed off his joyful expression turning shocked as he registered Keith standing next to Hunk.

“Um, I’m interrupting, sorry I’ll just go…” He turned to leave and Hunk called after him.

“Lance, didn’t you let Pidge borrow your car today? I thought you needed a ride.”

“Oh wait, yeah I did.” He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

His sleeve rolled up a bit and Keith could see wilted and thorny flowers winding up Lance’s arm. Keith winced, he was all too familiar with that sight, after all, dead flowers just like that covered his own skin.

“I should get going,” Keith said to Hunk. “Shiro should be home by now and Adam will kill me if I miss dinner.”

“Okay sure, thanks so much for the photos Keith, they’re incredible,” he paused and smiled “as usual.

“No problem, the slideshow will be great.”

“Okay, it was good to see you. You should visit more often. Since you moved to the city Shiro has been so overbearing. He doesn’t know what to do without you here to stress over.”

Keith snorted “Oh trust me, the fact that I live in a different city doesn’t stop him from stressing over me. I get like twenty texts a day from him just asking me how I am.” Keith shook his head “I’m never gonna convince him that New York City is good for me.” Keith’s phone buzzed and he sighed.

“Speak of the devil, Okay gotta go, Shiro wants me back so he can drill me about the Vogue cover I’m shooting next month.”

“Wait you’re shooting a Vogue cover? Dude that’s huge! Why didn’t you mention it?” Hunk asked his eyes wide.

Keith just shrugged “It’s not a big deal. Okay bye!”

“Wait—“

Keith exited before Hunk could protest and make him stay for another twenty minutes with Lance standing there awkwardly pretending he wasn’t purposely looking everywhere but Keith.

Out the window, Lance watched as Keith straddled his bike and took off down the road.

“You okay buddy?” Hunk asked placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Uh yeah, I just wasn’t expecting to see him.”

Hunk frowned “Sorry, but at least now the worst part is out of the way, you were going to have to see him anyway for the wedding.”

“Yeah.” Lance sighed.

“So,” Hunk said clapping his hands “Want some coffee? I know we have a lot of wedding planning to do tonight.”

“Yeah sure, coffee sounds great.”

Hunk clapped him on the shoulder and smiled reassuringly “Next time will be easier.”

 

_Two weeks later_

“So,” Lance said his arm around Heather’s waist as they walked down the street, “How would you like to be my plus one for my best friend Hunk’s wedding?”

She smiled brightly “Oh Lance, I’d love to!”

“Cool! It’ll be an amazing wedding, I planned it myself after all.”

She giggled tossing her dark hair over her shoulder “Of course.”

Heather was his girlfriend now, Lance wasn’t sure how it’d happened but somehow the first date had gone well and so they’d had another and another and another.  
He liked her a lot and she was one of the rare few people who’d been declared soulmateless so he didn’t have to worry about her leaving him for her soulmate.  
He was happy with her, it was almost enough to make him forget about the empty space in his heart.

 

* * *

 

  
_Another two weeks later_

“Ahh, Lance!”

“Pidge.”

She glared at him “Hunk’s crazy uncle got seated next to Shay’s brother and they’re fighting!”

“Okay then move them.” He said calmly.

“How?”

Lance sighed “You’re useless Holt. Okay, where are they sitting? Lead the way.”

Pidge brought him over and Lance kindly but firmly told them that there’d been a mistake in the seating chart and switched Hunk’s uncle to another table.

“There,” he said turning to Pidge “Problem solved.”

“How are you so calm?” She asked incredulously.

Lance snorted “This is my job Pidge. I’ve seen much worse than a tiny squabble. And honestly you’re way too stressed, it’s just the rehearsal dinner. When we get to the actual wedding you’re allowed to be stressed.”

She huffed in annoyance “Okay fine, we’re eating soon so let’s sit down. I’m starving.”

“You ate like two hours ago Pidge.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and made her way over to their seats. He rolled his eyes but followed. Throwing himself into his seat next to Allura who was sitting there hand and hand with her soulmate Romelle and of course looking like a goddess.

“Hey Lura.” Lance smiled

“Good evening Lance, You’ve done a beautiful job.”

“Aw it’s just the rehearsal dinner, wait until the actual wedding, it’s gonna be magic.”

She smiled beautifully “I have no doubt it will be.”

Just then Shiro and Adam appeared at the table taking their seats, Lance had spotted them earlier but had been trying to avoid them. Logically he knew it was only a matter of time until he couldn’t since he’d helped Hunk plan the seating arrangements Lance knew Shiro, Adam, and Keith would all be at the table with them.

Hunk had been worried asking multiple times if Lance was sure it was okay to be at the same table, in the end after running it by both Lance and Keith multiple times he decided they could probably sit at the same table without killing each other. Still, that didn’t stop him from positioning them as far away from each other as he could.

“Shiro, Adam! How have you two been? Last time we were doing this it was your wedding.” Allura said brightly.

Shiro laughed easily “We’ve been good! And yeah, it’s hard to believe our wedding was two years ago. But dare I say that we might be getting blessed with a wedding for you and Romy soon?”

Romelle blushed furiously, Allura winked. “I suppose we’ll see.”

Shiro beamed at her, Romelle somehow turned even redder.

“Lance!”

“What’s up?” Lance asked turning to face Hunk who looked a little frantic walking towards Lance.

“Dinner’s been delayed something about issues with the appetizers? I don’t know what to do.”

“Wait.”

“What?”

“If dinner is delayed then all you can do is wait until its ready.”

“What if people are mad?”

Lance grabbed his best friend’s hand, “C’mon do you think people are gonna riot because the dinner started a little later than it was supposed to?”

“Uh well… no. I guess not.”

“Yup see, it’s all fine!” Lance smiled brightly, “Go find your finance and be sickly in love for a while or something. Just chill, rehearsal went great! Everybody here is the people closest to you, no one’s gonna be mad about anything, I promise.”

Hunk let out a sigh of relief “Okay, okay, thanks buddy.”

“No problem.”

Hunk nodded and set off, probably to find Shay.

When he turned back to the table Allura was smiling at him fondly.

“What?” He asked nudging her.

“You’re a really great friend Lance and a phenomenal planner. Really, you’re just reminding me why you’re our best, besides me of course.”

Lance chuckled “Of course.”

“I was thinking actually we got booked by a couple today, they want a huge wedding, I was thinking that you should plan it.”

“Uh, actually Allura…” he trailed off.

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath, he hadn’t planned to tell her this here “I was thinking that after Hunk and Shay’s wedding I don’t want to plan any more weddings.”  
The table suddenly fell silent and Lance knew without looking away from Allura that everybody was listening.

“Why?” she asked.

“Um, I want to expand my horizons?” It sounded weak even to his own ears.

Allura raised an eyebrow looking completely unconvinced.

Lance sighed “I’m just kind of tired of weddings.”

“But you love weddings!” Pidge said cutting into the conversation and shooting him a glare like he’d personally offended her.

“I loved weddings.” Lance corrected. “Now I’m just, I dunno bored of happily ever afters, y’know?”

Romelle shook her head, and Allura frowned and said: “No.” at the same time as Pidge said “Yes.”

“See pidge gets it!” Lance said.

“Yeah but that’s me! I never liked romance, I don’t even have a soulmate, you, on the other hand, adore romance and weddings and all that disgusting stuff.”

Lance shrugged “Can we just end this discussion please?”

“Lance,” Pidge said.

“Pidge!”

She sighed “Okay, okay, don’t get cranky with me, I just you know…”

Lance raised an eyebrow “Um no, I don’t know.”

Pidge let out an irritated breath “I worry about you, Lance! After last year… You were fucked up okay. So I’m sorry if you doing uncharacteristic things worries me, I don’t want to lose my friend!”

“And you won’t seriously, you’re worse than my mother Pidge. All I said was I don’t want to plan weddings anymore! It’s not like I’m about to fling myself off a building.”

“You say that like you don’t have a history of doing exactly that.” Pidge was clearly upset now, her arms were crossed and her eyes angry behind her glasses.

Lance opened his mouth to respond, and of course, that was the moment Keith chose to appear to take his seat.  
Lance thought he was prepared to see Keith after bumping into him at Balmera Café, apparently, Lance wasn’t because his stomach dropped and his mouth went dry at the sight of him.

The look on Keith’s face as he sat down beside Shiro made it clear that Keith had heard the conversation. He lifted his head and for a moment their eyes met. Lance looked away quickly turning to face Pidge instead. She grabbed his hand under the table in a rare gesture of affection.

“I love you, Lance.” She said quietly.

He smiled pressing a quick kiss to her forehead “I know I love you too, I’m sorry. I swear I’m just tired of planning weddings.”

She nodded.

They were saved from awkward silence by the food which decided to arrive at that moment. Lance shot Pidge one last smile and then turned to his food.

He spent the rest of the night making conversation with Pidge Allura and Romelle and avoiding looking towards Keith.

All in all, it could have been worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey the first person who can tell me (without googling it) what song the title of this story is from gets a little shout out at the end of the next chapter.

Keith was trying not to look at Lance. It was proving to be extremely difficult as Lance was like the sun and Keith had never been able to stop himself from getting pulled in.

The rehearsal dinner had gone well and Keith was pleasantly surprised when things were a lot less awkward than he thought it would be. As the night ended Hunk and Shay’s family left along with some other out-of-town guests and for the first time in a year it was just “Team Voltron” as Lance used to insist on calling their friend group despite the fact that everybody else refused to accept it as their name.

“Honestly” Keith remembered Pidge saying “I don’t know why you think we’re anything like the characters from some stupid 80s show. And seriously flying lion ships that become a giant robot man? That show is on drugs.”

It never discouraged Lance.

Now they all stood together in a circle underneath dim lights, it almost felt like they’d gone back in time to two years ago.  
Hunk was telling some funny wedding planning stories hand in hand with Shay. Pidge was a ball of energy bouncing on her toes and adding commentary whenever she felt it was needed, Shiro and Adam stood on either side of Keith like they were guarding him, he wanted to complain but it was oddly comforting.  
Hunk paused in his story and turned to Lance to ask him a question pertaining to some ‘flower disaster’. Hunk frowned when he saw his friend was bent over his phone, typing and paying zero attention.

“Lance.” Hunk said nudging him.

Lance looked up “Sorry, what?”

Hunk shook his head “Never mind. Who are you even texting?”

“Um… Heather.”

“Oh? Is that your girlfriend Lance?” Allura asked eyes sparking with curiosity

Lance cleared his throat awkwardly “Yeah.”

“Ohh!” Allura said completely oblivious to the now tense atmosphere “What’s she like?”

“She’s nice I guess.”

Allura raised an eyebrow “You guess?”

“I—she’s great, really.”

Allura opened her mouth no doubt to ask another question when Romelle doing god’s work kicked her lightly on the shin.

“What?” Allura asked still painfully oblivious.

“You have to work tomorrow, we should get going.”

“No we can stay, I’m not even tired.”

“Yes, you are. Okay bye everyone!” Romelle waved and dragged away a still protesting Allura.

There was a moment of silence and then Lance snorted “Well that was awkward.”

The group dissolved into laughter and they moved on.

They talked for hours the conversation flowing with an ease Keith had forgotten about. Apparently, Hunk was good friends with the guy who owned the place the dinner had been held at so they were able to stay long after even the help was gone. And long after did they stay.  
Things were going better than Keith could have hoped for. It wasn’t until during a story Lance was telling about a psycho groom he planned a wedding for Keith absentmindedly took off his gloves. Lance froze, Mid-sentence, mouth open, eyes wide. His eyes were glued to Keith’s right hand.

Keith’s heart stopped when he realized what Lance was looking at. The rest of the group followed his gaze and Keith knew there was no point in hiding his hand now, it was too late. Everyone had already seen it.

He looked down at his own hand familiar with the sight there, a blue flower. Even in the dim light, there was no mistaking that it was very much alive. Sure it’d seen better days, the blue was faint, but it was still clearly blue and beautiful.

It was alive, and everyone knew what that meant.

_Five years earlier_

“Keith! Keeeeith!” Lance whined poking Keith in the face.

He groaned, “Leave me alone Lance.”

“I’m bored.”

“I’m trying to sleep.”

“C’mon, it’s eight! The time for sleeping is over.”

“It’s Saturday Lance! The time for sleeping isn’t over until noon.”

“But look you’re awake now!”

Keith grabbed one of the pillows on the bed and threw it in Lance’s direction. He dodged it easily and leaned forward pressing kisses to Keith’s face.

“I want to go to the beach.”

“Then go.”

“I want you to come with me!” Lance flopped down on the bed and Keith sighed turning to look at him.

Sunlight was streaming through the blinds and it painted Lance’s skin golden. His shirt was pulled up at his hip and Keith could see the red roses blooming on his skin and the freckles that made up constellations.

“You can bring your camera.”

Keith thought for a moment about the images of his beautiful boyfriend on the beach he could take, especially when the sun started setting. He sighed, damnit Lance.

“Okay fine.”

“Yeah?” Lance asked jumping up and bouncing on the bed excitedly.

“Yeah. Now stop bouncing.”

Lance grinned and bounced harder jostling Keith. “Lance!” He complained.

Lance grinned. Keith dove for Lance’s legs knocking him down and sending him tumbling down onto their bed.

“I hate you,” Keith said crawling on top of Lance.

Lance pressed a kiss to Keith’s cheek, “Sure you do.”

 

| <3 <3 <3 <3 |

“C’mon Mullet! Get in the water already.”

“I agreed to come with you, I never said anything about swimming.”

“You wore your swimsuit.” Lance pointed out.

“Because you made me.”

“I did because I wanted you to swim with me.”

Keith sat on his towel book in his hand not budging. Lance trudged out of the waves to stand in front of Keith.

“Hey, you’re dripping on me!” Keith said shielding his book from the water.

“You know summer is over now, who knows how much longer we’ll have warm weather! This might be the last beach day until next summer. Swim with me, please?”

Keith sighed but put down his book. Lance grinned happily knowing already that he’d won.

“How is it that you always get me to do what you want?” Keith grumbled pulling his t-shirt off and slipping out of his shoes. “Seriously, I liked life much better when I stayed at home all the time and only went out to take pictures.”

Lance grabbed Keith’s hand and started to pull him down the empty stretch of beach they’d claimed as their own “Yeah but then you got me, and now your life will never be boring again!”

“It wasn’t boring, it was comfortable.”

“Bo-ring!” Lance declared as they reached the waves.

Keith responded by letting go of Lance’s hand and shoving him lightly. Lance stuck out his tongue and danced away from Keith splashing and kicking up water.

Keith looked down at the lazy waves lapping at his shins and looked back up shielding his eyes to watch his beautiful idiotic boyfriend dancing in the water underneath the sun.

When Keith saw Lance in his head he always pictured him like this.  
Joyful, free, so full of a life that still never failed to completely entrance Keith. Lance was never more Lance than when he was dancing against the backdrop of a blue sky and ocean the sun painting his skin golden and illuminating the red roses on his skin.  
As Keith watched more flowers bloomed on Lance’s waist. He looked down at them and laughed softly turning his gaze to Keith.

Lance made his way over to where Keith was standing and pulled him towards Lance. Keith reached out and touched the flowers on Lance’s skin, he sighed happily.

They hadn’t actually said ‘I love you’ yet, but they didn’t really need to. The first few flowers that bloomed were proof of it. Keith had never been a big romantic and honestly, he’d never thought much about soulmates so he was surprised at how much he adored the bluebells that grew on his skin. Especially the first one that appeared on his hand. He’d looked at it for hours feeling completely blissful because Lance loved him! Lance was his soulmate! It was better than anything he could have ever dared to hope for.  
So Keith loved that first flower, he loved it so much that he even ditched the fingerless gloves Lance hated so much but Keith loved just so he could see the little blue flower all the time. When Lance first noticed that Keith wasn’t wearing the gloves anymore Lance had cried. Later embarrassed he’d insisted he hadn’t, but Keith understood. The fact that he’d stopped wearing the gloves was like a huge sign of the end of an era.  
The end of an era where Keith and Lance didn’t know they were soulmates yet.  
And it was the start of the rest of their lives where they were together.

Keith smiled at Lance all of this going through his head in an instant.

“I thought you didn’t want to come. You look awfully happy for someone who wanted to be in bed right now”

“Yeah but that was before I saw how gorgeous you look right now.”

Lance blushed “I always look gorgeous.”

Keith snorted “Of course you do. But right now you just look at home. It makes me wonder who you’d look on the beach you grew up on.”

“Hm, one day I’ll take you to Cuba and you can find out.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Keith smiled.

And it was a plan, for one day. Because they had the rest of their lives together to go anywhere and everywhere they wanted.

It turned out they didn’t get forever, only four more years.  
But at that moment they thought it was going to be forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Shiro looked over at his brother, Keith was frozen in place, right hand still bare the blue flower clear on it and gloves clutched in his other hand. His eyes were distant and Shiro knew Keith was somewhere else in his head right now.

It was something that had become usual for him ever since things with Lance had ended. Shiro would be talking to Keith and he wouldn’t respond so Shiro would turn around to see his little brother staring off into space clearly a million miles away remembering different times. Shiro worried sometimes that one day Keith would go into his head and never come out, he’d be forever stuck in the past.  
Shiro tried his best to give Keith the time and the space he needed to heal. Shiro let Keith move to the city with only a few protests. Maybe it would be good for him Shiro had thought. But every time Keith came back home to visit he was worn out and lonely, so Shiro started to pester him a bit, he knew Keith hated it and Adam always shot Shiro stern glares when he dared to bring up Keith moving home.  
“Give him time Takashi.” Adam had said after Keith’s last visit when Keith had spent half of it chewing on the inside of his cheek and paying zero attention.

“I did! It’s been a year and he’s not any better.”

“Isn’t he? Keith’s not spending all his time locked up in his apartment crying anymore, he is better. It’ll take a lot longer than a year for him to get back to how he was before, honestly, he might never be the same. He lost his soulmate Takashi, I can’t even imagine how that must feel. Be patient.”

Shiro sighed “Okay, okay. You’re right I’ll give him more time.”

So he had. He’d stopped pestering him to come back, stopped nagging at him, and stopped trying to get things back to how they were.

But it didn’t stop bothering him. Shiro didn’t understand what had happened. Nobody did really. One day Keith and Lance were stupidly in love the next Keith was screaming at Lance about something none of them understood. Two weeks later Keith moved to the city and they were both covered in thorns. And that was it, all those years turned to dust in two weeks.  
All Shiro had wanted to do was help Keith but he wouldn’t speak about what had happened, instead, he started disappearing into his head and pushing Shiro and Adam and all his friends away. Keith left and that was it, the end.

Except maybe not Shiro dared to hope, because there Keith stood back home in front of all the people he loved with a flower alive on his hand.  
And Shiro had his suspicions when Keith donned his gloves again and refused to take them off but now it was clear, Lance still loved Keith.

It wasn’t much, a single delicate flower. But it was still a flower. Except Shiro had seen Lance this summer, his body covered in only thorns. Keith didn’t love Lance anymore but Lance loved him. The hope Shiro felt quickly disappeared.  
Oh god, no wonder Keith had kept the flower covered, he had to hate himself for it. He probably hated Lance too for keeping that flower on his hand when Keith so clearly despised him.

Shiro met Adam’s eyes over Keith's head. They exchanged a few silent looks and then Adam nodded at Shiro and turned to Keith touching his shoulder softly. Keith looked up snapping out of his head.

“I think we should go bud.”

Keith nodded, quickly slipping his gloves back on and carefully avoiding looking over at anyone else but Adam and Shiro.  
Adam and Keith made their way towards the door while Shiro stood back for a moment. As he watched Adam put an arm around Keith’s shoulders and he leaned into Adam letting him press a kiss on Keith’s forehead, it was such a fatherly motion that despite the situation Shiro couldn’t help smile softly.

He turned back to the group “I’ll see you guys soon, Hunk please give us a call if you need any more help with the slideshow, I’m happy to do some more editing if you need it.”

“Aw, thanks, Shiro you’re the best.” Hunk cleared his throat and shot a quick glance over at Lance who was staring very determinedly at his feet, “Um Shiro… did you know that was there?” Hunk gestured to the door Keith and Adam had just exited through.

It was obvious what he was asking “Well I- I’d had a feeling but no I didn’t know it was there. Honestly, I don’t see Keith much anymore.” Shiro’s voice dropped a little bit at the sentence and he frowned sadly.

Lance was still staring at the ground, Shiro sighed. “Okay, I’m gonna go now, bye.”

There was a chorus of “bye”s and a few waves.

Shiro caught a few whispers as he turned his back, the timbre of Lance’s voice saying something Shiro couldn’t hear. He didn’t try to, instead he let the door swing shut behind him with a click that sounded awfully final.

Shiro knew, as much as he hoped things were never going to go back.

There was always going to be that divide between the people he’d called his best friends for seven years, him and Adam and Matt and Keith on one side, Hunk and Shay on the other pretending they were in the middle when they were really with Lance. Pidge fully with Lance but always feeling terribly guilty about it because Keith had been her best friend and she’d abandoned him. Allura standing awkwardly in the middle of it all either unaware or pretending there wasn’t a divide while Romelle tried her best to do damage control.

Nothing was ever going to be the same.  
It was over.

 

| <3 <3 <3 <3 |

 

_A year earlier_

Lance let himself into Shiro and Adam’s house following the noise of laughter to the living room.

“Hi everybody!” Lance yelled announcing himself loudly.

“Hey man!” Hunk yelled back matching his enthusiasm.

The rest of his friends ignored him. “Hey! where’s my warm welcome?” Lance complained

“Hi Lance,” Pidge said not looking up from her phone.

Matt flipped Lance off.

“Hmph.” Lance glared at his friends and crossed the room to sit next to Hunk who smiled warmly at him “I only like Hunk now! I’m disowning the rest of you!”

“Why are you disowning us?” Shiro asked appearing in the doorway with Keith in tow.

“Oh no not you Shiro.” Lance said his grumpy demeanor melting away as he faced his older friend “But everybody else is disowned, they weren’t welcoming enough.”

“Oh, how dare they not welcome you enough because god knows the world revolves around you,” Keith said.

It should have sounded like a joke, Keith made jokes like that all the time, he would tease Lance about his ego and in turn, Lance made fun of Keith’s fashion choices and his anti-social tendencies. It was a part of their chemistry the light-hearted bickering. But usually, when Keith would say something like that it was followed by a fond smile.

Now as Keith regarded Lance from the doorway his eyes were cold.

Lance stood up his brow furrowed “Is everything okay?”

Keith shouldered into the room past Shiro who was still stood in the doorway looking confused. “Why don’t you tell me, Lance?” Keith crossed the living room towards the kitchen and walked right past Lance without sparing him as much as a glance.

“Whoa, Keith wait.”

Keith did not wait, he kept walking. Lance grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Keith yelled spinning around.

Lance immediately let go blinking and trying to push down the stupid instinct to cry he got every time he was yelled at.

“Wha- I-“ he took a breath trying to steady his voice “did I do something wrong? Is this because you didn’t want me to work today? Because I thought we agreed that I’d take off next week to make up for it.”

‘”This has nothing to do with that.” Keith said sharply.

“Then what? Because you’re acting kind of awful and you won’t even tell me why. I mean seriously, I’m racking my brain and I can’t think of anything I did wrong.”

Keith snorted “oh really Lance? You can’t think of anything?”

“No I really don’t-“ Lance paused for a moment choking on his words “Maybe we should go outside and talk.”

“No.”

“Keith—“

“I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO SAY TO YOU LANCE! LEAVE ME ALONE.”

Lance flinched. “I’m gonna go.” He said quietly, Keith wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Lance took a step backward and then another, then he was out the door.

“Wait, Lance, your phone—“ Hunk yelled after him picking it up from the spot beside him that Lance had left it when he walked in less than ten minutes earlier. But the door shut with a bang cutting Hunk off.

Lance got in his car breathing heavily as he pulled out of Shiro and Adam’s driveway. A million thoughts raced through his mind. He turned up the radio and started to run through things in his head trying to figure out why Keith was mad.

Lance couldn’t stop the tears that came as he remembered the way Keith had yelled at him. As Lance’s vision blurred he pulled over into the shoulder and let himself cry.  
He’d never seen Keith so angry before. But why? What could have made him so mad?

Suddenly Lance gasped a thought hitting him. Unless Keith knew about… but no, how could he?  
Except, they had plans today until Lance got called into work, which left Keith home alone with nothing to do and when Keith was bored he tended to clean. In this case, he’d been complaining about the state of Lance’s office for weeks.

Lance punched his steering wheel jumping when the horn blared loudly.

Shit, shit, shit. Keith had read his journal. He’d been bored out of his mind and when he was cleaning Lance’s office he’d found it. And Lance knew Keith wouldn’t have any qualms about reading it, hell Lance used to read his journals to Keith on nights when he couldn’t sleep. Lance didn't have any secrets from Keith. Or at least until last month he didn't.

Lance needed to tell someone but he couldn’t, not even Hunk. So Lance had written about it in his journal and then locked it in his office. Keith rarely went in their so Lance didn’t think he would ever find it.

But he had. It was the only explanation.

Lance reached into his pocket for his phone and cursed when he realized he’d left at Shiro’s place. Well, maybe that was fate telling him it was best not to call Keith?

Lance sighed. It was probably best to give him space to cool down. Lance wiped his eyes and pulled back onto the road telling himself he’d be back in a few days.

He wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst??


	5. Chapter 5

_Present day_

“So,” Hunk said placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder “why didn’t you tell me you still loved him?”

“I-I didn’t realize,” Lance said softly.

“Oh,” Hunk said. He paused unsure of what to say.

“But it could be a good thing.” Shay pointed out trying to find the bright side as usual.

“How?” Pidge asked failing to see how it could possibly be a good thing.

“Well,” Shay started “if you still love him and he knows it then that’s like… hope. You could fix things, Lance.”

“No!” Lance said suddenly startling Pidge.

Shay’s brow furrowed “Why not? I thought you would want that. You’ve been a mess without him.”

“I know, I know.” Lance sighed running his fingers through his hair.

He couldn’t tell his friends. If he did they’d desert him for Keith. They would hate him.

Lance shook his head pushing the thoughts out of his mind. No these were his friends they wouldn’t hate him. But they would certainly be mad, no furious.

Lance remembered when Keith had first ended things. Lance had spent the first month just waiting for Keith to tell everyone what Lance had done. Every time he saw his friends he was sure they would know. That they would stop comforting him, stop being there for him. So Lance waited like waiting for a bomb to go off. But it never did. Keith never told anyone, not even Shiro and Adam. Lance didn’t know why.

Okay, Lance took a deep breath. He needed to tell his friends. Not the whole story, not what he’d done but at least that he’d done _something_. It wasn’t fair to let them believe that there was a chance things could go back to how they used to be.

“Lance?” Hunk asked looking concerned at his silence.

“Okay look, guys. Keith and I, we’re done. It can’t be fixed. It doesn’t matter if a little part of me still loves Keith, he doesn’t love me. You guys have seen it.” Lance pushed up his sleeve to show his friends the thorns winding up his arm.

It was the first time he’d purposely showed anyone his soulmarks since they’d died. Normally he kept them covered even in the summer. The only time his friends had seen them was when he was swimming.

“Oh Lance,” Shay said sadly looking at the wilted flowers on his arm.

“No,” Lance shook his head “stop feeling sorry for me, you don’t understand.”

“What do you mean?” Pidge asked

“It was my fault. Everything was my fault. I fucked up, I ruined it.”

“What? Lance, what did you do?” Pidge looked a little panicked.

“I-I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Hunk’s voice was soft but firm.

“Both?” Lance sighed “I just… please don’t hate me.”

“No, no Lance.” Shay shook her head furiously “I have no idea what you did but you’re our friend. Even if you murdered someone we wouldn’t hate you. I think we’re all just surprised you kept this from us.”

Hunk nodded. Pidge shook her head.

“Speak for yourself, I’m mad.”

“Pidge—“ Lance started.

“No! Look don’t get me wrong I love you, Lance, you’re like my brother but I’m furious! Do you know how awful I’ve felt for choosing you over Keith? He was my best friend and I turned my back on him for you! I thought you needed me more I thought _I_ needed _you_ more. I couldn’t risk almost losing another brother. And now I’m finding out that you did something! He was the victim all along! And you won’t even tell us what you did. But whatever it is must be horrible if it made Keith stop loving you!” She paused breathing heavily “I’m gonna go.”

As she turned her back Lance couldn’t help but feel like she was leaving him.  
The door slammed shut with a bang, Lance flinched.

“Don’t worry,” Hunk said, “she’s just a bit upset, she’ll cool down.”

“Right,” Lance agreed. He wished he believed it.

_Three years earlier_

Keith was sitting in a hard plastic hospital chair his fingers tapping on his leg furiously. Adam sat beside Keith holding Shiro’s hand. His only hand now.

There had been an accident. A drunk driver.

Shiro, Keith, and Matt had gone to pick up Sam Holt from the airport. He’d been away for a month for work and everyone was excited to see him so when they found out his flight was getting in at midnight they had no problem with going to pick him up despite the fact that it was so late. It was after picking him up on their way home that they were hit.

Sam who had been in the back along with Keith was mostly unscathed. Keith escaped with only a large gash on the side of his face. Shiro and Matt, however, were not quite so lucky.

Matt had been in the passenger seat where the impact was, the car that hit them ran a red light right into the side of their car sending it flipping.

Matt had been in critical condition. Keith had bumped into Pidge in the hall and she’d told him that after surgery Matt was expected to pull through but nothing was certain yet.

Shiro had been driving and had ended up a bit better off than Matt, there wasn’t any doubt that overall Shiro would be okay but in the crash, one of his arms had been so mangled that when he got to the hospital they had to amputate it. Keith was dreading Shiro waking up because Keith was afraid of how his brother would react to the fact that suddenly he had one less arm.

There was a noise in the doorway and Keith spun around to see Lance standing in the threshold looking unsure.  
Keith couldn’t stop the distressed noise that escaped from his throat as he flung himself out of his chair and into Lance’s arms.

“Hey, baby I’ve got you,” Lance said softly his arms settling around Keith’s waist. “I’m sorry,I got here as quick as I could.”

“S’okay.” Keith mumbled into Lance’s shoulder.

Lance had been away for the past week representing Altea Event Planners at a wedding planner convention. It had been a huge deal that Lance’s boss Allura Altea had chosen Lance who was still a fairly new employee to represent them and he’d been so excited to go.

When Keith had called Lance after the accident Keith had felt awful about interrupting his trip but when Lance picked up all Keith had to say was “I need you.” Before Lance was packing his bags and booking a flight home all the while kindly but firmly pulling the story out of Keith.  
Keith would never forget the strangled noise Lance made once he finally got it out of Keith that there had been a car crash.

Now that Lance was here Keith felt like he could breathe again.

“Hey Adam,” Lance said resting his chin on top of Keith’s head, he must have known Keith wouldn’t be letting go anytime soon. “How are you holding up?”

“Hi Lance,” Adam said tiredly “I’m holding up as well as I can I guess,” he shrugged “been better. But I’m glad you came, I know you cut your trip short.”

“Of course, I’m sure there will be other conventions. I needed to be here.”

“God I love you,” Keith said into Lance’s shirt.

Adam smiled fondly. As stupidly in love as Lance and Keith were they tended to keep their PDA on the down-low around their friends so Adam had never seen Keith act like this. It was comforting in the midst of all the bad to see how Keith who had been so lonely and broken when Adam had met him had completely opened up since Lance had come into Keith’s life. The world could be a bad place full of wars and injustice and drunk drivers, but it was also a world of soulmates and that made things a little better.

Keith pulled away from Lance and turned to look at Shiro who was sleeping soundly.  
It looked like both brothers were going to be sporting scars, they both had matching bandages on their faces, Shiro’s on his nose and stretching across to his cheeks, Keith’s on his cheek.

Adam didn’t miss the way Lance’s eyes trailed over Keith’s bandaged face. Lance’s brow furrowed and he bit his lip looking agonized. Adam was familiar with the emotion Lance was feeling at seeing his soulmate hurt. Adam felt it too staring at his own beautiful and unconscious soulmate.  
Adam decided at that moment that he was going to ask Shiro to marry him once he was recovered, it was too close of a call.

Adam felt Lance’s gaze on him. Their eyes met and Lance nodded seeming to understand what Adam needed.  
Lance was remarkable in that way, reading people, being able to tell what they wanted, what they needed. It was a skill that came in handy for many things like his job and working with people, it was also great since his soulmate was Keith, and Keith was terrible at communicating and really good at internalizing things.

Lance tugged softly on Keith’s hand, “we should go check in on Pidge.”

Keith nodded giving his big brother one last look and then allowing Lance to lead him out the door.

Once they were gone Adam’s shoulders dropped and he let his head fall forward into his hands. He knew even as he started to sob that things were going to be okay but that didn’t erase the harrowing fact that he’d almost lost his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I wrote this entire chapter on my phone in the car, it feels kind of short but I'll write a longer one tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to all the people who left nice comments, you motivated me to get this chapter written.

_Present day_

 

“Lance, did you get the orders in for the Samson’s 30th-anniversary party?”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“And how did the cake tasting go with Emily and Kate?”

“They decided on the red velvet and the white and blue floral design, they’re very excited.”

Allura beamed “Okay, great job Lance. I’m heading out for the night.”

“Valentine’s Day plans with Romy?”

“Yes, she planned something, it’s a surprise she said but I’m pretty sure she’s taking me to the cat café.”

“Aw,” Lance smiled “That sounds nice.”

“Anything Romelle plans for me will be nice.” She tucked a piece of her silver hair behind her ear “Do you have any plans with Heather?

“Um no, she’s out of town.”

“Aw, well don’t stay too late okay Lance? I don’t want you to work yourself to death.”

Lance rolled his eyes “I won’t, don’t worry about me, go enjoy your date and tell Romelle I say hi.”

“Will do.” She pressed a quick kiss on his cheek and slung her purse over her shoulder disappearing through the glass door.

Lance sighed and made his way over the coffee maker, he might as well get started on narrowing down the venues for the Parker + Whitman wedding.

Four hours and six cups of coffee later there was a knock on his door. Lance sat up suddenly “Yeah?” he called.

The door opened “Hey Mclain, I thought I saw your light on.”

“Hey Griffin, yeah I was just finishing up some work. What’s your excuse for being at the office so late?”

“Same as you, overworking myself because it’s Valentine’s Day and I hate Valentine’s Day.”

Lance frowned “I don’t hate Valentine’s Day.”

“Maybe not, but those of us lacking soulmates don’t really enjoy it too much huh?”

Lance knew Griffin’s story, he had a soulmate who died in a car crash only a few days after they fell in love and discovered they were soulmates, he’d only been fourteen at the time and from what Lance had heard he didn’t remember his soulmate much now. Lance had always thought it was weird how it never seemed to bother him. When a person’s soulmate dies the flowers don’t die along with them like it does if the love dies, instead they turn black mourning the person they belonged to. Giffin never hid his black flowers the way many people did and Lance had always believed that it was because it didn’t hurt him. Now that he understood in a way how it felt to lose a soulmate Lance could see that Griffin just hid it well.

“Yeah, I suppose it’s not great.”

Griffin nodded “Wanna get out of here? Have some fun?”

Lance hesitated Griffin stepped forward, the light of Lance’s lamp illuminated his face and it struck Lance suddenly that Griffin had a very pretty face. “C’mon Mclain,” Griffin urged.

Lance sighed “Okay fine, but only if you call me Lance.”

“Sure thing Lance, but then you should call me James.”

Lance smiled liking the way James said his name “Okay then James, let’s blow this joint.”

Lance slipped his jacket on as James held the door for him and they stepped outside into the February chill.

“So where are we going?” Lance asked locking the door behind them and stuffing the keys into his pocket.

“Hmm,” James smiled a little wickedly, “I was thinking we could use some drinks.”

“I think you’re right.”

“I know a place not far from here, do you mind walking?”

“Nah,” Lance tapped the smartwatch on his wrist “I can get some steps in.”

James snorted as they started off down the street “of course you’re that type.”

Lance huffed “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well from the outside at least you’re very much the handsome successful businessman, y’know with the smartwatch and nice shoes.”

“Aren’t you exactly the same?”

“I don’t have a smartwatch and I’m not as successful as you are.”

Lance snorted.

“C’mon it’s true, do you know how many people come to Altea Event Planners requesting you?”

“Um, a few?”

“A lot more than a few Lance, nobody else gets people coming in from New York City requesting them specifically. You’re damn good at your job, so it was a bit of a surprise when Allura dumped a bunch of spring weddings on me because she said you didn’t want to plan weddings anymore. Why?”

“Want the truth?” Lance sighed.

“Yes,”

“I’m tired of happily ever afters. I’ve watched most of my friends find their soulmates and get their fairytale endings. I loved it when I was one of those people too, when it was only a matter of time until I got married too, but then I lost that. Now weddings only remind me of what I’ll never have.”

“You could still have that someday, Lance. There are actually a lot of people who don’t have soulmates, despite what society tries to make everyone believe there is happiness outside of soulmates and just because someone isn’t your soulmate doesn’t mean you can’t love them just as much as you’d love a soulmate.”

Lance paused mulling over what James had said “you’re surprisingly insightful Griffin.”

James laughed punching Lance’s shoulder “maybe it’s a surprise to you, c’mon we’ve been working together for years and you barely know me?”

“Yeah, but I think it’s time we change that.”

“I agree, let’s get some alcohol in us and we can do some serious getting to know each other.”

 

| <3 <3 <3 <3 |

 

A few hours later after they’d arrived at the bar and were both pleasantly buzzed James turned to Lance.

“Ready to go?”

“Where? Can’t get home now, too drunk to drive man.”

“We didn’t think this through did we?” James snorted

“I never think things through.”

“Hm me either,” James said snaking an arm around Lance’s waist.

“Cool, we’re quite a pair.” Lance hummed leaning into James.

“Yeah, let’s go to the park and freeze our drunk asses off.”

“Yay!” Lance said making some jazz hands.

They stumbled out of the bar gripping at each other and laughing.

“Which way is the park?” Lance asked blowing a little puff of air and watching it leave his mouth.

“Umm,” James spun in a circle and then stopped facing Lance “That way I think.” James pointed

“Cool, cool.”

The started off down the dim-lit street chatting easily. Lance had never thought James would be so easy or fun to be around, in all honesty, Lance always thought James was a bit of an ass. But clearly, he’d been wrong.

After a few wrong turns and some meaningless chatter they arrived at the park. It wasn’t a very remarkable park really, just a trail running through the trees in a loop accompanied by a few cute little lights lining the path and a currently empty playground set off to the side.  
Despite driving past it nearly every day on his way to work lance had never actually been.  
It seemed James had though because he walked the path not paying much attention like he was simply following muscle memory.

“You come here a lot?” Lance asked James.

He shrugged “Yeah I guess, sometimes it’s nice to get out of the office, I’ll come here and walk a little after work or take my lunch break here, mostly when it’s warmer though. I haven’t been in a while.”

“It’s nice here. Next time you take your lunch break out here I’d be happy to join you, only of course if you want company though.”

James smiled “I’d love company.”

Lance smiled back a feeling bubbling in his chest he hadn’t felt in a long time.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while until James stopped suddenly under one of the lamps. He turned to face Lance.

“What?” Lance asked.

“I’d like to kiss you.”

“Oh,” Lance’s heart stuttered in his chest. He met James’s eyes and a soft feeling came over Lance. James’s eyes were a soft brown, they were warm and kind but there was a sadness under the surface, one Lance was used to seeing in his own eyes when he looked in the mirror. The world was a lonely place without a soulmate.

Another pair of eyes flashed through Lance’s mind, light blue, still new and unfamiliar. Right, Heather, Lance had a girlfriend. But James’s eyes looked like home in a way nothing had for a long time. Lance would break up with Heather when she got back in town, she didn’t have to know any of this.

So Lance stepped forward “Then you should.”

They met in the middle the street lamp shining down on them like their own personal spotlight. Lance sighed happily as their lips met, James pulled him closer a hand moving to his waist.

It was soft and warm and comfortable, there was none of the awkwardness he felt when kissing Heather.

As James’s fingers cupped Lance’s chin Lance allowed himself to think that he could get used to this, he could be happy with James.

Two men, lost and sad, bearing two different but equally cruel losses of their soulmates. They could find what they’d lost in each other.  
At least at the moment, that’s what they both believed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was this unexpected?  
> I swear I do have a plot, this is all part of my plan.
> 
> Sorry, this chapter is short, there should be another one sometime before this week is over though so fear not.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaaay, so it's been a couple of months since I updated, I'm sorry.  
> I swear there won't be so much space between chapters again!

_Three days later_

Lance woke in a bed that wasn’t his own. It took him a moment to remember that he was at James’s place. It was something that had been happening every night since Valentine’s Day  
Lance stretched and yawned lazily getting out of bed. James wasn’t in bed but Lance could hear the sound of someone moving around in the kitchen.  
He padded down the hall following the smell of fresh coffee.

“Morning,” James greeted as Lance entered.

“Hey,”

Lance poured himself a cup of coffee and spooned in some sugar before joining James at the table.

“I was planning on heading out to get breakfast this morning, do you want to come or would you rather go home before work?”

“Hm, I’ll come.” Lance said his voice still sleepy “but can we stop by my place real quick before work? I need to change.”

“I told you it was fine to wear some of my stuff.”

“But none of your clothes are exciting enough.”

“We’re event planners, why do your clothes have to be exciting?”

“People want extravagant events, they trust people who look the part. Plus, it’s fun.”

James shrugged “dunno, I’m not real into that, but whatever floats your boat I guess.”

“Whatever floats it indeed.” Lance winked.

James smiled amusedly.

Lance couldn’t help but think if it had been Keith he would have poured his coffee over Lance’s head.  
He was sweet like that.

Lance shook his head trying to push away all thoughts of the past.

Fifteen minutes later they were in heading out Lance finally relenting and borrowing James’s clothes. Just a pair of sweatpants and James’s UCLA sweatshirt.

Lance complained insisting that he couldn’t go out dressed so sloppily. James convinced Lance though assuring him it was just for breakfast.

By the time they got out the door they were cutting it close on time so Lance suggested they go to Balmera Café to grab some muffins.

James agreed and they talked about muffins for the rest of the drive. It was nice, in a chill comfortable way that Lance was learning things just were with James.

They arrived at Balmera Café still chattering. Apparently, James’s friend Ryan Kinkade worked at Balmera which Lance was surprised to learn as he’d known Ryan since Hunk hired him two years earlier and Lance hadn’t known that James was Ryan’s best friend.

“Yeah he’s the best,” James said as the bell over the door jingled announcing them “He’s always been there for me.”

“Aw, that’s nice. Hunk has been like that for me.”

James nodded and smiled approaching the counter.

“Hello, what can I get for you today?” Amanda the girl manning the register asked.

“Hm, could I get a corn muffin?”

“Of course. For here or to go?”

James checked his watch and turned to Lance “We have some time, wanna eat here?”

“Sure.” Lance shrugged.

“Okay cool.” James turned to Amanda “For here please.”

“Sure thing.”

Amanda set James’s muffin on a plate “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

James nudged Lance “What do you want?”

“Oh no, I’ll order separately.”

“That’s bullshit.”

Lance laughed “Okay fine Griffin,” he turned to Amanda “May I get a blueberry muffin please?”

“Of course,” Amanda smiled placing another muffin on a plate.

She gave James the total and as he swiped his card she turned her gaze on Lance.

“You know I’ve seen both of you here before separately but I didn’t realize you guys were friends.”

“Oh yeah,” Lance smiled “It’s a new thing.”

“Cool.” She said sliding them over their plates “Ryan isn’t working right now,” Amanda said to James “But Lance if you want me to let Hunk know that you’re here I can tell him.”

“If he’s not too busy. You know I hate when he interrupts his work for me.”

“Yup.” She smiled brightly “Enjoy your muffins guys.”

“Thanks, Amanda, next time you’ve got a minute you need to tell me how that date went.”

“Oh!” Amanda’s eyes lit up “It was great, they were the sweetest person I’ve ever met. I’ll tell you the details next time you stop by.”

“You better.”

Lance waved goodbye as she took the next customer and James and Lance went to sit down.

It was as they were finishing the last bites of their muffins that Hunk came bounding over.

“Hey Lance!” he paused his eyebrows going up “And James?”

“Hey man.” Lance greeted ignoring Hunk’s questioning look.

“I didn’t realize you guys were friends.”

“It’s a new thing,” James said repeating Lance’s earlier statement.

“Oh, well that’s cool. I’m glad you guys are friends I guess.”

“Yeah.” James smiled and then turned to Lance “I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick and then we can head out if you’re ready.”

Lance checked his watch “Sounds good, I still need to change.”

James shot him a thumbs up and then excused himself from the table.

“So…” Hunk said talking the seat James had previously occupied “What’s going on with you two?”

“We’re friends.”

“Really? But you came from his place? Did you stay the night?”

“What gives you that idea?” Lance huffed.

“Um I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re wearing James’s clothes.”

“How do you know these aren’t my clothes?”

Hunk sighed “because I’ve known you since high school, I know what clothes you wear, plus why on earth would you have a UCLA sweatshirt? You didn’t go to UCLA, James however did.”

Lance sighed “Okay fine you got me. Yeah, I stayed over at James’s place last night. We’re a thing now I guess.”

“What happened to Heather?”

“She just wasn’t doing it for me.”

“Lance you were gushing about her literally five days ago.”

“Things change.”

“In the span of five days?”

“Yeah! Things can change in an instant you know.”

“Right.” Hunk shook his head “So you broke up with Heather?”

“Yeah.”

Lance didn’t tell Hunk that he actually hadn’t gotten around to that yet.

“Okay, well as long as you’re happy with James I guess. I just wish you would be less reckless with your heart.”

It was just then that James appeared saving Lance from Hunk’s ‘be careful and take care of yourself and don’t make a mess’ talk.

“Okay looks like we best be off!” Lance said jumping up and grabbing James’s hand. “Bye Hunk!”

James waved apologetically over his shoulder as Lance dragged them out the door “Bye Hunk! Tell Ryan I say hi!”

“Will do.” Hunk smiled.

Then they were gone and another pair of people were stepping in the door.

“Keith! Shiro!” Hunk called waving them over.”

“Hey, Hunk.” Shiro smiled kindly.

“Hey.” Keith echoed.

“I didn’t realize you were in town again Keith!”

“Yeah well I was just in for a day, I’m heading out in a few hours and then I’ll be back for your wedding.”

“Don’t even talk to me about the wedding.” Hunk groaned “I’m so nervous.”

“I’m sure everything’s going to be great,” Shiro said reassuringly.

“Oh I know it will, with Lance planning it everything is going to be amazing, but it’s still stressful.”

Shiro smiled sympathetically “Yeah, I remember mine being like that too. And actually speaking of Lance, was that James Griffin I saw with him when we were pulling in?”

“Oh yeah.” Hunk shook his head.

“I didn’t realize they were friends,” Shiro said.

Hunk snorted “They weren’t, now apparently they’re something I guess.”

“Something?” Shiro asked.

“Yeah, I’m not sure” Hunk looked over at Keith who was typing on his phone deliberately not paying attention “I just know whatever it is if Lance is involved it’s going to wind up messy. I swear to god I don’t know what I’m going to do with that boy.”

Out of the corner of his eye Hunk saw Amanda waving at him. “Oh look like I’m being summoned, I’ll talk to you guys later. And Keith if by any chance your schedule clears the invite to my bachelor party is still open.”

Keith looked up from his phone “Okay, I’m sorry I’m booked so it probably won’t happen but if it does I’ll be there.”

“Okay, I’ll see you guys.” Hunk waved and then jogged over to Amanda who was waiting.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Does it bother you?”

“Hm?” Keith asked taking a bit out of his warm bagel.

“Does it bother you, Lance being with all these other people? I mean he just had a girlfriend and now he’s apparently seeing James.”

“Oh uh…” Shiro didn’t expect Keith to give a real answer so it was a surprise when he swallowed and continued “I guess a little, it’s weird.”

“How so?” Shiro asked tentatively not wanting to push Keith too much.

“Well, I mean obviously he was my soulmate, I want him to be happy, I can’t help it no matter how much I hate him…” He paused biting his lip, “But, at the same time I know him, he thinks he wants to be happy but he’s just playing games, that girlfriend, James. It’s only a matter of time before it all falls down. And I want him to be happy, to be better but at the same time, I think he deserves whatever happens when his actions finally come back to bite him. I dunno I’m probably crazy, it’s got to be wrong of me.”

Shiro took a moment to study his little brother. Unkempt hair and an old black t-shirt, his phone in his hand as he unconsciously fiddled with the old case, dark eyes that even after knowing the kid his whole life Shiro still couldn’t read. He had no idea what was going on in Keith’s head, why after all this time he decided to open up to Shiro.

“You know, I don’t know what happened between you guys, and though I’ll admit I’ve wondered, it’s okay if you never feel ready to tell me or anybody really. I can’t pretend I understand but I think it’s natural, for it to feel weird. And there’s nothing wrong with you wanting Lance to get what he deserves whatever that is. I’ve always thought Lance was a good kid but maybe he has things he needs to learn, maybe he will learn them. I know you’re not into that shit but I think most things have some kind of reason for happening. Life will teach him.”

Keith shook his head “You’re right, I’m not into that shit. But who knows maybe you’re correct about this one and Lance will learn and become better and happy, for real. But how many people are going to get hurt before he learns?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many people indeed??
> 
>  
> 
> so yeah not a ton happened in this chapter but it was necessary to the story, don't worry a whole bunch of shit is about to go down. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who's back baby!! I'm off hiatus this story is happening again!!
> 
> CONTENT & TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault.
> 
> This chapter is A LOT it was hard to write I'm gonna be honest. So please be advised and I know it's a very sensitive topic to write bout to if you have any suggestions or any thoughts at all I would love to hear it. The last thing I want to do is write it in a way that seems to romanticize it in any way.

 

 

The truth is Lance didn’t often like to think about _it_.

 

In fact, he very much avoided ever thinking about that night in general. It was too painful.

 

So at Hunk’s bachelor party when _it_ came and hit him right in the face, Lance couldn’t say he handled it well. In his defense though, he couldn’t see how anyone could have handled it well if they’d been in his situation.

 

To be clear Lance _was not_ the one to plan Hunk’s bachelor party since y’know he’d planned the entire wedding, that honor fell on Pidge and Matt’s shoulders. And obviously Lance knew he would have done a better job but it wasn’t a bad party overall. They started off the evening with laser tag and arcade games before moving onto the more adult stuff.

 

And of course the club the Holt’s chose just had to be _that one_. The very same one that his life had been ruined at.

 

But as the party made their way inside chatting happily Lance tried to push away the blurry memories that were threatening to choke him. C’mon, Lance’s luck couldn’t be that bad. There was no way that _he_ would be here. That was one night a while ago.

 

So Lance swallowed his anxiety and slung his arm over Hunk’s shoulder as they found some seats in the corner and Adam and Matt went to get them drinks.

 

By the time the night was halfway through Lance was relaxed and more than a little tipsy laughing a bit too loudly at story Shiro was telling.

 

And that was when Lance saw him. Long white hair and dark skin, he turned almost like he could sense Lance, meeting his eyes with a cruel smirk. Lance’s glass fell from his hand with a crash he didn’t hear and his friends turned to him with words that didn’t touch him.

 

Lance wasn’t even there anymore. He was standing there a year earlier speaking slurred words that were ignored.

 

_“Wait- no, please! I have a soulmate!”_

_“What your soulmate doesn’t know won’t kill him.”_

_“Please!”_

_“C’mon darling, you have two choices. Either you reject me and I’ll take everything from you, you know I have the power to do it your job, your friends, your family, your soulmate, I can destroy them. Or, you can let this happen and keep everything. No one will ever know. You can move on and forget all about it. Choose wisely Lance Mclain.”_

_“Okay, okay. Please don’t hurt me, don’t hurt the people I love.”_

_“Of course not, you made the right choice.” He smiled wickedly_

Lance gasped back in the present. He was sitting on the ground, glass from his cup crunching underneath him. He didn’t remember getting there. His hands were bleeding but Lance didn’t feel any pain. In fact, he couldn’t feel anything at all. Couldn’t hear Hunk even though he was crouched in front of him his mouth moving clearly saying something.

 

There was darkness pressing against the sides of his vision and he tried to breathe but there was no air.

 

Lance blinked and suddenly he was sitting outside. Pidge was gripping onto his arm tears sliding down her face. There was a bouncer leaning over him looking worried.

 

There was air in his lungs again. It was freezing and each breath burned his lungs.

 

The bouncer was gone replaced by Shiro who gently lifted Lance’s chin to meet his eyes.

 

“Lance. Lance.”

 

Shiro’s voice broke through into the silence and suddenly Lance was ripped out of his fog.

 

“Shiro.” Lance croaked.

 

The relief in Shiro's eyes was tremendous “Oh thank god.” He breathed.

 

“I did a terrible thing,” Lance whispered.

 

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked his brow furrowing.

 

Lance didn’t mean for it all to come out, but something had opened the floodgates and it all came tumbling out in a jagged rush.

 

“He didn’t care when I told him I had a soulmate. He wouldn’t stop. He said he’d take everything. He would hurt my family and my friends. And Keith. I couldn’t let him! But he promised they’d be safe and no one would ever know. All I had to do was stop fighting. So I did. But I lost everything anyway! And I couldn’t tell Keith! I needed to tell someone but I couldn’t so I wrote it in my diary but I couldn’t even stomach writing the truth. So I just wrote that I slept with him because I needed to say it so I knew it wasn’t all in my head. But he made me! And then Keith-“ Lance broke off a sob choking the rest of his words.

 

Distantly he was aware that Pidge was sobbing. Shiro was frozen in front of him a look of pure horror on his face.

 

“You hate me.” Lance said “I cheated on your brother you should! I’m awful, weak.”

 

“No! Lance, I don’t hate you no one hates you.”

 

“You should!”

 

Lance ripped himself out of Shiro’s reach and backed up against the brick wall of the club.

 

There was fear and uncertainty written on Shiro’s face. Hunk put a hand on his shoulder and he stepped back letting Hunk approach Lance carefully.

 

“Lance buddy, why don’t I take you home?”

 

Lance hesitated before nodding allowing Hunk to lift him up and carry him towards his car. He put him down in the front seat hooking his seatbelt. Lance didn’t resist or even move at all. His head slumped to the side and his eyes fluttered closed. Hunk watched his best friend for a moment as his chest rose and fell steadily before quietly shutting the passenger side door and turning to the rest of his friends.

 

He met their gazes seeing the same things he was feeling reflected in their eyes.

 

“Did you know?” Pidge asked her voice rough from her tears.

 

“No.” Hunk shook his head “I don’t think anyone did.”

 

“We’re terrible friends,” Adam said taking off his glasses and rubbing at his eyes. “How did none of us realize?”

 

There was a moment of silence before Shiro put a hand on his husband's shoulder. “Lance was hiding it. He didn’t want us to know. I wish we’d known, but we can’t go back in time. All we can do is make sure he gets the help he needs now.”

 

“That, and we can go find the guy that did this and make him wish he’d never been born,” Matt said his voice hard and cruel in a way Hunk had never heard it before.

 

“No, no guys.” Hunk said “As much as I’d love that violence isn’t the answer. We can’t fight Lance’s battles for him. Just for now keep this to yourselves. Respect Lance’s privacy.”

 

His friends nodded and with a last glance Hunk waved goodbye and made his way over to his car opening the door and sliding into the driver’s seat.

 

Hunk shot a worried glance over at his sleeping friend before pulling out of the parking lot. He was lucky he didn’t drink or someone else would have had to drive. And it wasn’t that Hunk didn’t trust his friends to get Lance home safe, but he felt   
better if it was him. He knew Lance better than anyone after all, besides his family and Keith. 

 

 

 

 

Instead of driving towards Lance’s apartment Hunk headed towards his own, figuring Lance shouldn’t be alone. And he knew Lance felt safe at Hunk’s place. He’d stayed there for over a month after Keith had left, unable to be in his old apartment without his soulmate there.

 

Hunk pulled into his driveway and carried Lance inside and to the guest bedroom. Shay wasn’t home yet but that was to be expected. She was having her bachelorette party.

 

Now at it was midnight and his broken friend was passed out in the other room and Hunks house was completely silent. And he felt too wired and upset to sleep. So he started to clean. Their place had gotten a bit messy with the chaos of wedding planning.

 

That was how Shay found Hunk an hour later as she stumbled into the house giddy from a night of partying. He was sitting on the floor clutching a mop and sobbing surrounded by other cleaning supplies.

 

“Hunk, Hunk!” She said rushing over to him. “What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s Lance.” He choked out.

 

Shay took his shaking hands steadying them in hers. “What about Lance? Is he okay?”

 

Hunk shook his head trying to talk through his tears “It- it’s so much worse than we thought. Someone hurt him and he’s so- Shay he’s so broken and I didn’t even know. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do! I took him back here to sleep but how can we ever do enough to make him better?”

 

“Hey, hey.” She said softly, is Lance is sleeping then let him. Let’s go to bed and whatever comes we’ll deal with it tomorrow. Whatever it is you’ll have his back.”

 

Numbly Hunk nodded and let Shay lead him down the hall towards their room. He paused as they passed the guest room to watch Lance’s sleeping form on the bed. Shay let him stop her hands soft on his wrist. He watched Lance’s chest rise and fall steadily for a few minutes letting the movement calm him. When he felt the knot in his chest ease a bit he nodded to Shay and let her take him to their room.

 

As Hunk’s head hit the pillow and as Shay’s arms warped around him Hunk forced himself to breathe. This was a good thing that people knew now. Lance had a chance to get the help he needed. Hunk just hoped Lance would accept it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please come talk to me. I love to hear from readers whether you want to talk about my fics or you need someone to vent to.   
> I love you all and thanks for supporting me and this fic through its four-month break. <3
> 
> Hopefully, I'll be updating more regularly again but in between updates you're welcome to read some of my other fics.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! I'm back again and it hasn't even been a month since I last updated. I'm calling this progress. 
> 
> My 'a' key is messed up so I either get sixteen 'a's in a row when I push it or none at all. So this was a fun chapter to edit. I would just like to thank god for Grammarly.

 

Keith didn’t understand why everyone was acting weird.

 

He called Shiro on Sunday night like he always did, even from the beginning of the call Keith noticed how _weird_ Shiro’s voice sounded. Shaky and kind of hollow.

 

“Shiro, Shiro.” Keith interrupted him halfway through an awkward rambling rant about his garden that was very unlike Shiro. “What the hell is going on?”

 

“Uh… What do you mean?” He said obviously trying to sound chill but failing.

 

“You’re acting so weird.”

 

“I- Keith...” His sounded so defeated that Keith immediately stiffened pressing his phone more firmly against his ear.

 

“Shiro?”

 

In his ear, Keith heard Shiro let out a breath before speaking “Something happened, at Hunk’s bachelor party last night.”

 

“What?” Keith asked sharply.

 

“I-I can’t tell you exactly what happened, it’s not my place. But Lance had… he had a mental breakdown.”

 

Keith gasped like he’d been punched. “But I thought- Hunk said he was doing well. He seemed like he was!”

 

“It turns out he’d been hiding a lot from everybody. It’s—“ Shiro paused seemingly rethinking his sentence “Just be sensitive to him okay. It turns out that a lot of things aren’t how they seemed. I hope that he’ll come to you about it eventually. But I don’t know.”

 

“Wait what the fuck Shiro? You’re just not gonna tell me?”

 

“I’m respecting Lance. As I said, it’s not my place.”

 

Keith paused exasperated and slightly panicked though he tried to keep it from his voice. “Okay, okay. I understand I’m just…”

 

“Worried?”

 

“Well, I guess.”

 

“You’re allowed to be, he’s your soulmate nothing can change that. Not separation and certainly not time. Just be kind to him, be patient.”

 

“You know patience isn’t my strong suit, but I’ll try.”

 

“Okay good. Now I’ll see you Thursday right?”

 

“Right, damn the wedding is next week.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Call me if you need anything.”

 

“Always,” Keith promised.

 

“Okay bye. I love you, Keith.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes but responded nonetheless “Love you too, Shiro. Bye.”

 

Keith hung up promptly collapsing on his couch with his phone held to his chest. An emotion he couldn’t name itched at him and he sat up trying to push away his worries. There was nothing he could do about anything right now, and he had photos to edit anyway.

 

 

 

 

  _Seven years earlier_

 

 

“C’mon Keith, what’s the harm in getting out?”

 

“We could get murdered.”

 

Pidge rolled her eyes “Murdered? Really? Your broody face is way too scary for anyone to consider murdering us.”

 

Keith sighed “I don’t want to go.”

 

“It’s a party! It won’t kill you I swear. You haven’t been to a single party since school started, hell I don’t think you’ve relaxed at all.”

 

“I’m not here for parties or relaxing Pidge, I’m here to get my degree.”

 

“Aren’t we all? That doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself in the process.”

 

“If I go you have to promise not to make me go to any more parties this year.”

 

Pidge put a hand under her chin thinking over the deal “I won’t make you go to any more parties this semester.”

 

Keith was tempted to argue but he knew Pidge wouldn’t budge so he sighed and accepted her deal. “Okay, fine.”

 

Pidge jumped up smiling wickedly “I knew you’d agree eventually. Now c’mon let’s pick you something out to wear.”

 

He groaned but let Pidge pull him away.

 

 

Keith _hated_ parties. He didn’t know why he’d let Pidge convince him to come. It was a special form of hell. With the bad music that was much too loud and the college kids who were _much_ too drunk. Also, Pidge who was much too excited for Keith to meet her friends for someone who avoided social interactions almost as much as he did.

 

She pulled him outside onto the back porch where the music was thankfully a little quieter. Pidge waved to a handful of people who were gathered in the corner. A guy wearing a yellow shirt waved back beckoning them over with a sunny smile.

 

“Hey, Pidge!” He greeted enthusiastically bouncing slightly on his toes.

 

His bright disposition plus his huge figure gave him the effect of an oversized teddy bear. The guy looked like he could snap Keith’s neck with one hand yet, he seemed much too kind.

 

“Hey Hunk, Shay, Lance.” She nodded.

 

“What no greeting for me?” Matt protested indignantly.

 

“Hi, Matt.” Pidge rolled her eyes.

 

“Hey, little sis! And Keith, I’m surprised she managed to get you here.”

 

“He tried to refuse, but you know me.” She smiled wickedly.

 

“Pidge, are you going to introduce us?” Hunk inquired politely.

 

“Oh right! Guys this is my friend Keith. I’ve mentioned him before I’m sure. Keith this is Hunk, Shay, Lance and unfortunately, you already know Matt.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Hunk said brightly.

 

Shay smiled kindly “Pidge has talked a lot about you.”

 

“Do you have a mullet?”

 

“Lance!” Hunk scolded.

 

Keith’s eyes narrowed and he shot Lance a glare. “No.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes!” Keith crossed his arms.

 

“Okay, no need to get so offended. Really has no one ever thought you had a mullet before?”

 

“No of course not because _I do not have a mullet_.”

 

“Whatever you say,” Lance said with an air that made it clear that it _was not_ whatever Keith said.

 

Keith bristled angrily and Pidge put a hand on his arm “Lance that’s enough, don’t offend my friend.”

 

“It wasn’t meant to be offensive, it was a genuine question!” Lance protested.

 

Pidged sighed in a way that seemed practiced “Sorry about Lance, he’s a lot but you get used to his antics eventually.”

 

“He’s also right here.” Lance pouted.

 

Hunk patted his shoulder sympathetically.

 

The conversation devolved into mindless chatter after that. Keith spent the rest of the night avoiding drunk people and trying to fight the urge to run back to his dorm and never leave again. It wasn’t that Pidge’s friends weren’t nice—they were. Keith just wasn’t a fan of social interaction in general. So when it was late enough into the night that Keith felt he could leave without facing Pidge’s wrath he bid her and the rest of her gang goodbye and quickly made his exit.

 

But apparently not quickly enough because as he made his way out the front door a hand grabbed his wrist. He spun to see Lance standing there with his hair slightly messed up and his breath uneven like he’d just been running.

 

It was of course at this moment that Keith’s brain decided to supply him with the thought that Lance was in fact stupidly pretty.

 

“Um, I wanted to apologize, for earlier. I know I offended you though I really didn’t mean to. I can be… like that sometimes. Y’know loud and in your face and you obviously seem like the kind of guy who doesn’t like that. So, sorry.”

 

“Oh,” Keith said oh-so eloquently.

 

Lance waved his hand around in the air in slightly manic surrender type motion “Not that you have to accept my apology or anything! I just wanted to say it because you’re Pidge’s friend and you seem like a nice guy if not a little anti-social.”

 

Keith’s frowned “um no, I accept your apology, thanks. And I’m not offended that you called me anti-social by the way, it’s honestly true.”

 

“Oh man.” Lance sighed “I called you anti-social. I’m just gonna- wow. I have no control over myself, next I’ll be telling you all about how fucking hot you are.”

 

Keith couldn’t stop the sudden butterflies he felt at Lance calling him hot.

 

Lance paused seemingly realizing what he’d said. He slapped his forehead groaning dramatically.

 

“I’m so sorry.” He said his cheeks obviously red even in dim light.

 

“No, no. it’s okay and um…” Keith scratched the back of his neck awkwardly “I think you’re hot too.”

 

Lance’s blush deepened even more. “Um, thanks… I’ll see you around?”

 

Keith shrugged “We’ll see.”

 

“Well okay then, I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

“I didn’t say yes.”

 

“But you will trust me, Keith, you will.” He smiled a confident grin and shot Keith finger guns before backing through the door and back into the party.

 

And if Keith couldn’t wipe the smile from his face even as he fell asleep that night well, that wasn’t anyone’s business.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here was your dose of cute klance meeting to make up for the angst last chapter.
> 
> I'm going away for two weeks so don't expect any updates soon, if you read my other fics however I'm gonna try to push out an update for A Lightyear Between Me And You tomorrow but idk if it'll happen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it clear this is taking place a year after the flashback in the last chapter. So it's about a year from when Keith and Lance met.

 

_One year later_

 

Lance’s arms wrapped around Keith tentatively from behind, that’s the way they usually did when Keith got like this. Even after they’d been dating for six months Lance still was never sure how to deal with Keith on those bad days.

 

He always insisted that it wasn’t Lance’s place to _deal_ with him, Lance always said that he wasn’t _dealing_ with him, he was taking care of his boyfriend.

 

Lance pressed his face into the back of Keith’s neck. “I don’t want anyone else.” He whispered into his skin in an echo of the words he’d said during their fight some minutes before.

 

“What about your soulmate?”

 

Lance pulled away and Keith turned to face him. Lance’s hair was a mess sticking out at different angles and his lips were bitten and red. Still, Keith thought he looked just as perfect as ever. He wondered in that moment if it was possible for someone who wasn’t your soulmate to be made for you. Because every bit of Lance felt like it was tailor-made for Keith to love. People were surprised when they started dating, an unlikely couple to start with, there was no way they were soulmates. That’s what people said and despite Lance’s protests, Keith knew he believed it too.

 

Soulmates were made for each other. And as much as Keith felt Lance was made for him he knew what soulmates looked like, had seen Shiro fall for Adam. They were perfect, not just in their own heads but in all of life. Keith and Lance clashed, they fought and disagreed over every little thing. They messed each other up. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for one of them to be ignoring the other. They were caught like that all the time, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, mouths twisted in anger.

Pidge joked once that Keith and Lance were anti-soulmates. Lance had cried after she’d said it and Pidge was left scrambling and panicked. She hadn’t meant it to be offensive but as she didn’t have a soulmate and had no desire to, she hadn’t understood.

 

 

Keith had comforted him after, cupping his face and pressing kisses to his cheeks right in front of all their friends. Keith was rarely affectionate in public and Lance had smiled wiping his eyes, he knew exactly what that public display meant. They were in it together, soulmates or not.

 

But now Keith couldn’t believe that anymore.

 

Lance cared so much about having a soulmate. He’d talked about it quite a lot before they’d started dating often starting sentences with things like: “When I meet my soulmate…” and “I hope my soulmate…”

 

So now when Lance said “They don’t matter. I only want you.” He wasn’t sure he believed him.

 

“Really?” Keith asked his lips set in a firm line.

 

“Yes!” Lance grabbed Keith hands “Yes, yes yes! Fuck soulmates Keith. Even heaven makes mistakes! And it made one with you, you’re supposed to be my soulmate. Even if you aren’t really, even if flowers never grow on our skin. You’re all I want.”

 

And that moment, right there. _That_ _exact moment._ Is when Keith and Lance fell in love.

 

Because you see, what they didn’t realize yet was that there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love. Lance just needed to take that final step and let go of his far off idea of some faceless soulmate waiting for him out there. And Keith needed Lance to choose him.

 

_Even heaven makes mistakes._

Keith never believed in heaven or any god, he figured there _could_ be some higher power, but who was he to say? Lance did though, he’d said it once that if there was no god how did you explain soulmates? So Keith saw Lance’s words for exactly what they were, him putting aside his faith, his love for his unknown soulmate, all for Keith.

 

Seven years from this moment Keith often wondered what would have happened if Lance hadn’t said those words, hadn’t been able to choose. He was sure he would have fallen back into his old habits, putting up with the bare minimum of social interaction until he got his degree and took off to start on his career, never looking back. And Lance would have continued on his hopeless search to find a soulmate who had been right in front of him the whole time.

 

Sometimes Keith wondered if he regretted it, that was a hard thing to think about. Did he wish that they’d never fallen in love and found out they were soulmates? Would it have been better if they’d broken up that day? Would Keith be happier?

 

He never had an answer. He wasn’t sure he wanted one.

 

He spent so many nights with moments like this one repalying in is head going round in circles.

 

But that’s not here or now. Right now were in  moment just s it’s happening untouched by retrospect. _Right now_ Keith just watched a red rose bloom on Lance’s collar bone.

 

“Oh my god!” He said jumping up in shock.

 

“What?” Lance asked his brow furrowed.

 

“Your neck!” Keith screeched in a very un-Keith-like manner.

 

“What’s wrong with my neck?”

 

“Flower. Th-there’s a flower.”

 

Lance froze for a moment his mouth open in surprise before he scrambled quickly pulling his phone out of his pocket and bringing up the front camera.

 

Keith knew the exact moment he saw it because his mouth dropped open even wider and he let out a shout dropping his phone.

 

“Oh my god! Keith you’re my soulmate!” He ran over pulling Keith into his arms and spinning them around Keith’s dorm room.

 

When Lance released him he was smiling so widely it made Keith’s heart melt.

 

“I’m your soulmate.” Keith whispered breathlessly.

 

“Yeah! Do you…” He trailed off eyes searching Keith’s neck

 

“Oh!” Keith pulled away from Lance to search his body he pulled of his shirt and when he found nothing he felt a sinking feeling, maybe he didn’t have Lance’s flower, maybe Lance wasn’t in love with him.

 

But before Keith’s heart could sink too far he pulled off his glove and immediately collapsed on the ground in relief. Because there on his right hand was a perfect little blue flower.

 

Keith had never put much stock in soulmates, sure he was happy to have one someday but he never actively tried to find him.

 

That being said Keith was not prepared for the tears that came upon seeing that beautiful flower.

 

Lance knelt on the floor beside Keith carefully taking his hand and pressing a kiss to the flower on his skin.

 

“ _Keith_ ,” somehow Lance uttering just his name was enough to get across everything he was feeling.

 

Taking Lance’s face in his hands Keith pulled him down into a breathless kiss, tears still falling down his face. As his eyes closed Keith could only think one thing:

 

_He was made for me after all._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS, THE END OF PART ONE! 
> 
> We're officially halfway through this story, lol only took me six months. But still, I made it this far and my plot is back on track and everything is coming together so beautifully and oh god you guys are in for it with everything I've got planned. 
> 
> I'm so excited and so proud of myself from pulling this story out of the gutter. As you might know if you've been with me for a while I had a good couple months where I was stuck with this fic, I wrote it into a corner and messed up the plot and I was so upset with myself because I hadn't planned well enough and it wasn't working the way I wanted. BUT somehow I managed to salvage it and now it's even better than what I originally wanted to do. 
> 
> So you see guys, don't give up!! Write those stories go for it! Do the things you want.
> 
> I love you all so much and I'll be back soon to start the second part


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg and begin part two. 
> 
> (Part one was called thorns btw. I just decided to do that so I figured I should let you know)
> 
> Just for the record, I'm going to go through this story and do some editing just to clean it up a bit since I started this story when I was just getting back into writing the beginning is a bit rough in places because my writing was rusty.
> 
> Also yeah I did this crazy rare thing where I updated within not just a month but a WEEK of the last update so enjoy.

**_ Part two: Flowers _ **

_Present day_

“I think you should look into talking to somebody, like a professional I mean.”

 

Lance froze with a flower arrangement gripped tightly in his hand “Excuse me?”

 

Hunk shifted uncomfortably not meeting Lance’s eyes “Look don’t take this as an attack, I just think it would help you feel better.”

 

“I feel fine, I feel great Hunk. I don’t need help.”

 

“Lance…” Hunk said looking up “I don’t need you to talk to me about it or to any of us, and if it’s what you prefer I’ll never bring it up again. But you can’t pretend that nothing happened. It was scary to see you like that, it might be good to have someone to talk to who you don’t know.”

 

“You mean like a doctor.”

 

“Well, a therapist yeah.”

 

There was a moment of silence while Lance went back to messing with flower arrangements. He touched a little blue flower gently and his brow furrowed before he looked back up at Hunk.

 

He couldn’t tell what Lance was thinking as he met his eyes.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Lance said finally.

 

Hunk couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that rushed out of him “Okay, cool.” He smiled warmly at his friend then gestured to the flowers he was holding.  “It’s a good centerpiece yeah? The florist did a good job.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Lance smiled weakly “It’s beautiful.”

 

 

 

 

 

Lance sat in front of his laptop his foot tapping erratically the sound echoing through his empty apartment. On his screen was a phone number for a therapist’s office. Slowly Lance brought out his phone ready to put in the number but before he could something stopped him, a name on his screen the black letters glaring angrily at him. 

 

_Heather_

Before he could second guess himself he pressed call.

 

It only rung for a moment before she picked up.

 

“Lance!” She greeted “What’s up?”

 

“Um, not much,” he said standing up from his office chair.

 

“Are you ready for your friend’s wedding? I have to admit I don’t have a dress yet.” She laughed breezily.

 

“Um, actually Heather, about that…”

 

“What?” She asked the tone in her voice suddenly darkening.

 

“Um I hate to be that person, I’m really sorry but I can’t take you as my date.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I-I was seeing someone else, or I mean— I am… seeing someone else. It was wrong of me not to break up with you sooner.”

 

“What, so you’re going to take this ‘someone else’ as your date?” She spat angrily.

 

“No, no actually I’m going to break up with him too.” Lance hadn’t actually planned to end things with James but as he said it he realized that he needed to. Using people to fill the void in him was only going to end in disaster.

 

“Oh good for you.” She scoffed “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to find someone! I don’t want to be alone forever! Fuck you, Lance! You better hope I never see you again because if I do you’ll regret it.”  

 

She hung up and silence filled Lance’s dark apartment, only his laptop screen lit his place. the number for therapist’s office still up.

 

Taking a shaky breath Lance sent someone a quick text and then dialed the number on his screen.

 

 

 

“You’re lucky you called when you did.” Dr. Elder smiled warmly “Normally I’m booked solid but since I just switched offices I had enough space for you.”

 

“Yeah, guess I’m real lucky.”

 

She beckoned for him to have a seat and he sunk down into a puffy purple chair while she took the one across from him. Dr. Elder wasn’t what he’d been expecting when he thought of a therapist, she couldn’t have been that much older than him with dark curly hair that fell in waves down her back. She wore stylish wire glasses and bright red lipstick. She reminded Lance of his sister Rachel and upon meeting her he felt just a little bit more at ease.

 

“So Lance, before we get into anything tell me a little about yourself.”

 

“Um,” He twisted his hands in his lap thinking “I’m a party planner at Altea Event Planners, I do mostly weddings. I’m from Cuba, my family came to America when I was ten. I lived in Miami until I moved to New York for college and I’ve been here ever since.”

 

“Cool! Do you like New York?”

 

“Yeah, I miss the weather in Florida and my family but I get to visit them a lot, and plus I have a bit of a self-made family here so, I wouldn’t trade it.”

 

“A self-made family?”

 

“Yeah my friends, that’s what we call ourselves. We met in college and a lot of us were alone in a new place without our families or didn’t have families, at least much of one. So we decided we’d be a family.”

 

Dr. Elder smiled warmly “That’s wonderful. It seems like you have a pretty good support system.”

 

Lance nodded “Yeah. It was my best friend Hunk who suggested I talk to someone. I don’t really appreciate his help sometimes but I know he just cares about me and he was worried. So I dunno, I decided to take his advice.”

 

“A good choice if I do say so myself.” She said, “Now could you tell me a little about why your friend thought you needed help?”

 

“Um…” Lance bit his lip looking down.

 

“You can take your time,” she said kindly “No rush.”

 

Lance nodded and took a deep breath before looking back up at her “I had a… mental breakdown I guess. At Hunk’s bachelor party, right in front of all my friends. It scared them, they didn’t know anything was wrong and I really freaked them out.”

 

“And why did you have a breakdown, do you know?”

 

Lance nodded “Do I have to tell you now?”

 

“Of course not.” She shook her head “No pressure, you could tell me today or a year from now, whenever you’re ready. Sometimes you need to get things off your chest and sometimes you need to keep it to yourself for a while.”

 

“I have kept it to myself.” Lance said “For over a year. How do I know if it’s time for me to talk about it?”

 

“I don’t think there’s any way to know Lance, it’s up to you. Your decision to make. But I will say the more willing you’re to open up the more I can help you.”

 

He nodded “I think it’s time for me to tell.”

 

“Okay. If that’s what you’ve decided. Whenever you’re ready.”

 

He took a deep breath “I was sexually assaulted. Or I mean I think.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded “I mean, I _agreed_ , he didn’t _make me_ sleep with him. He threatened me though, and my family and my soulmate when I said no at first. I’m not sure if that counts as sexual assault.”

 

“It does.” She told him softly.

 

“Oh.” Lance said “Then yeah, I was assaulted. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t think it counted as assault back then at all, I cheated on my soulmate.”

 

“You didn’t cheat Lance. If he threatened the people you loved to make you sleep with him I hardly think that’s cheating.”

 

“It’s not?” He asked surprised.

 

“No, I don’t think so. Does your soulmate think so?”

 

“Well yeah. But he doesn’t know that I was forced, he thinks I just slept with the guy.”

 

“And you never told him otherwise?”

 

“I-I couldn’t,” Lance admitted. “And now I’m sure it’s too late.” He said shaking back his sleeve to show her the thorns and wilted flowers winding up his arms.

 

“Oh,” she said softly “I’m sorry Lance. But you should know that if it was something you wanted someday, it is possible for flowers to grow back.”

 

He sat up a little straighter suddenly “It is?”

 

“Yes, I’ve seen it happen.”

 

“Oh, I didn’t know, no one told me.”

 

Dr. Elder shrugged “People don’t like to talk about things like that, the idea of soulmates not working out scares people. It’s supposed to be the one thing in life that’s perfect.”

 

“But it’s not. I loved my soulmate so much, still love him I guess. But we fought all the time, always about stupid things. I wouldn’t have had it any other way though. That was a part of us just as much as anything else.”

 

“I’m glad you see it like that, you’re right soulmates aren’t perfect, nor should they be. So I wouldn’t give up on yours quite yet.”

 

“You think I should tell him the truth?”

 

“I think that’s up to you, but if you’re really ready to heal, I think it would you do good to consider it.”

 

“Okay.” Lance agreed “I’ll consider it.”

 

“Sounds good.” She smiled “Now you mentioned you had a ‘mental breakdown’ recently, could you tell me about that.”

 

“Um yeah, it was at Hunk’s bachelor party, the bar we went to, it was the same one I was… _assaulted_ at. In the beginning, I was freaked but then I drank a little and I felt better but then halfway through the night, I thought I saw him… the guy who hurt me. I’m not sure if it was actually him but I dunno, I just panicked.” Lance swallowed his mouth dry recalling it “I couldn’t breathe and everything was really fuzzy, couldn’t hear either or even think. I-it was really scary.”

 

“Okay, it sounds to me being at the same bar you were assaulted at triggered a panic attack. Do you have a history of panic attacks?”

 

“No, no that was the first time it’s happened.”

 

“Okay well I don’t want to put you on any meds unless I have to but for now I think I’m going to teach you some things you can do to prevent them okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And how about we schedule an appointment for a week from today and then we can see how it goes from there?”

 

“Sounds good.” Lance smiled.

 

She stood and Lance followed “Well it’s great to meet you, Lance, it’s a brave thing to recognize you need help. I’m sure your friends would be proud.”

 

“Uh, thanks.” He said softly.

 

She smiled a bright kind smile and Lance was once again reminded of his sister “Come one, I’ll show you out.”

 

 

Back home in the darkness of his room Lance’s phone dinged. He rolled over grabbing it from his bedside table touching the notification. It brought him to a conversation with James. Lance’s earlier text sat there, the words didn’t mean much but it felt like something to Lance. A change in the winds.

 

**Lance:**

**Hey I need to talk to u**

**can we meet?**

**James:**

**Sure.**

**Lunch tomorrow?**

**Lance:**

**Ok see u then.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUN FACT: since nobody guessed it the song I chose this fic title from is Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift (I really like Taylor can you tell?). It's a really good song to kinda depict pre-breakup Klnce in this fic so you could give it a listen to get a feel for what I was thinking with this story I guess.


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

Lance raised his hand and rapped sharply on a wooden door. It was painted cherry red and there was a little glazed glass window near the top.

 

He waited for a minute listening for any noise on the other side, when there was nothing he let out a sigh and started back towards his car.

 

He was pulling his keys out of his pocket when the door was flung open with a bang.

 

“Lance?”

 

“Uh,” he spun “Hey Pidge.”

 

“What are you doing here?’

 

“I came to see you.”

 

“Lance, it’s five AM, do you know how early that is?” She didn’t wait for him to answer, “Really fucking early!”

 

“Sorry, I wanted to talk to you before work. I guess I didn’t really think it through.”

 

Pidge rubbed her eyes tiredly, the sun had only just begun to rise through the trees painting the neighborhood around them in watery winter light. “No it’s fine,” she yawned “Come on in, it’s freezing out here.”

 

Lance nodded following her into the house. “Matt’s not home?” He asked as he stepped into the foyer shrugging of his wool coat.

 

“Nah, he had some business trip or something, I don’t know, it’s hard to keep track of what he’s doing.” She said leading him into the kitchen she turned to him “Since you woke me up at this ungodly hour you’re making coffee.” She said with a glare.

 

He sighed but made his way over to the coffee pot and plugged it in. He could feel Pidge watching him, normally he would have thought it was because she wanted to make sure he was making her coffee right, but now it felt more weighted than that. Like she was waiting for him to break down again.

 

Lance poured the water into the coffee maker and started it.

 

 “I’m sorry,” Pidge said suddenly, her gaze on her lap, not meeting Lance’s eyes.

 

Lance didn’t respond instead her words were met only by the drip of the coffee slowly making its way into the pot.

 

Pidge looked up when the silence persisted. Lance was looking at her, his expression passive, his eyes unreadable. He just _stared_. Pidge noticed things she hadn’t before, the bags under his eyes, how his cheeks were sunken, and the glowing skin he’d always been so proud of had turned sickly.

 

She couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen this before, but she’d just wanted him to be better, and in wanting that she’d glazed over the fact that he really wasn’t.

 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Lance said finally, his face carefully blank.

“I got mad at you because I thought… you and Keith—“ she broke off,  pausing to take a breath, “Keith was my best friend and I turned my back on him for you, because I love you and you’re like my brother, and… I thought you needed me more. Then you said that Keith wasn’t even the one at fault when the whole time I thought he’d done something because he’s the one who left. I felt betrayed I guess because I chose you, and I felt guilty.” She pushed up her glasses to rub her eyes “I shouldn’t have got mad at you.”

 

Lance stayed still for a moment, that infuriating blank expression still on his face before he pushed himself off the counter where he’d been leaning and made his way over to Pidge.

 

The coffee maker was still dripping out coffee continuously, punctuating Lance’s steps as he came to a stop in front of her.

 

“You have _nothing_ to be sorry for.” He said echoing his earlier statement. “You had no way of knowing. It’s understandable that you were mad, it’s okay.”

 

“It’s okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Pidge whispered, Lance opened his mouth no doubt to scold her for saying she was sorry again but she barreled on “You didn’t deserve that. You should have got to live with Keith happily ever after.”

 

Lance deflated, his shoulders drooping “Yeah.”

 

“Are you going to tell him?”

 

“I-I don’t know if I can. But I think I want to? I talked with my therapist about telling him, so I don’t know. Maybe.”

 

“Your therapist?”

 

“Oh, yeah” He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably “Hunk suggested I see someone. I didn’t want to but I knew he was just worried so I decided to give it a chance. Don’t I owe that to you guys?”

 

“No,” Pidge said taking his hand “You don’t owe us anything, but I’m not complaining. We are worried about you, we just want you to be fucking happy.”

 

“Thanks, Pidge,” Lance smiled weakly. He pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms around him holding on for dear life.

 

When they pulled apart Pidge quickly wiped tears from her face, Lance kindly pretended not to see it. “What do you say, we go stop by Balmera Café and crap some pastries and good coffee?” He asked her “I mean you’re awake now anyway, might as well get some good use out of it.”

 

“Okay since I’m awake I guess, but you’re paying and for the large coffee! None of that ‘it’ll stunt your growth’ shit, I’m in my twenties, I’m not growing anymore.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Lance laughed sounding more like himself than he had in a while. “But seriously I did just make you coffee as you requested.”

 

“Yeah, no offense but your coffee is shit.”

 

“Then why’d you have me make it?” he asked throwing his hands up in the air.

 

“Payback for waking me up.” She shrugged “Now c’mon, I want my large coffee.”

 

 

 

 

Lance was sitting on a bench his jacket wrapped tightly around him. He was trying to eat a turkey sandwich but his fingers were too numb to properly hold it. After dropping his sandwich in his lap for the fourth time he gave up wrapping it back up and shoving it inside his bag.

 

He checked his watch, upon seeing the time he sighed, his breath coming out in a white puff and disappearing into the air. He was caught between some thought of being stood up and the novelty of watching his breath dissipating in an instant when a voice caused him to jerk out of his state.

 

“Lance?”

 

He knew who it was before he even looked up.

 

Leather jacket, a red scarf tied tightly around his neck, camera bag slung over his shoulder, pale cheeks flushed pink with the cold.

 

Lance had imagined sometimes what it would have been like if he bumped into him before, but now he didn’t feel any of the things he thought he would, all Lance could really think was that it was really fucking cold.

 

“Hey, Keith,”

 

Keith stood there for a moment looking conflicted before taking a step forwards “What are you doing here?” he asked.

 

Lance shrugged “Taking my lunch break.”

 

“At a park in the middle of winter?” Keith frowned.

 

“Yeah,” Lance shrugged nonchalantly “I work across the street y’know.”

 

Keith made a bewildered face that seemed on the verge of exasperated “Yeah, Lance, believe it or not, I do know,” He shook his head “But why?”

 

“I was waiting for someone, guess they’re not coming.” Lance felt like he should be upset by the fact that James had stood him up, but he wasn’t.

 

“Oh, uh sorry.”

 

“Nah, it's fine.” He shrugged again “Might be better this way.” He said the last part mostly to himself.

 

Keith didn’t respond after that, his gazed fixed on Lance, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. There was no doubt he was confused by Lance’s behavior.

 

“Can I sit?” he said finally.

 

“Sure.”

 

Keith nodded taking the spot on the bench beside him. Despite the cold Lance could feel the warmth coming off Keith. He fought the desire to lean in, suddenly reminded why he went to great lengths to avoid Keith since their breakup.

 

“Lance,” Keith said roughly.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

 

Lance shrugged for the third time in their short conversation, but this time it was weak and his voice came out small and defeated “I have no idea.”

 

He looked turned to Keith looking him firmly in the eye for the first time since things had ended a year earlier. He realized in that moment that it was time to tell Keith the truth. it felt like a lifetime since he wasn’t scared, but right then he felt _brave_.

 

“I need to tell you something about what you read in my journal last year.”

 

Keith opened his mouth to say something, whether to tell Lance to go on or fuck off, Lance would never know. Because it was that exact moment that James Griffin arrived shattering whatever temporary peace the two broken soulmates had.

 

“I’m so sorry I’m late, a bunch of new clients just came in and I Allura needed some extra help but I’m here now…” He trailed off noticing Keith’s presence “That is, unless you’re busy.

 

“I was just passing through,” Keith said with what might have been a bit of hostility.

 

He stood up grabbing his camera bag which he’d placed on the bench beside him. Keith fumbled with it nearly dropping the bag with his clumsy gloved hands. He sighed pulling off his gloves to get a better grip on it. His bare hands were only visible for a second as he slung the bag over his shoulder and shoved his hands in his coat pockets. But that second was long enough for both Lance and James to catch sight of the little blue flower living on Keith’s hand.

 

But Keith unaware of this, just said: “I’ll see you at the wedding, Lance.” And turned his back.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know it's been two months but I'm back with another chapter!
> 
> So update on things that have happened since July.  
> Firstly I'm back in school and it's making life difficult so don't expect chapters too often, I spend most of my time writing papers now (ugh).  
> Also Taylor Swift came out with a new album Lover and if you don't know, I love Taylor Swift!! (the title for this fic comes from her song Call It What You Want) and I was thinking about doing a series of short klance fics inspired by the songs on the album. What'd you guys think? Would you read that?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lucky chapter 13 everybody!!

 

Keith didn’t understand Lance.

 

In all honesty, Keith had _never_ understood Lance. He’d had got used to his absurd antics, gotten to know him well enough to anticipate the things he’d do. But still, he found it hard to understand _why_ he did the things he’d do.

Like the time Lance stood up on his chair at a nice restaurant and announced to everybody that it was his birthday. Why did he do that? Keith couldn’t fathom. Lance enjoyed having attention and Keith couldn’t understand that.

 

So after spending so many years with Lance, Keith was used to not understanding, comfortable in it even. It was a feeling that was familiar. But Lance’s behavior in the park the other day, Keith couldn’t make sense of it at all. There was nothing familiar about it. The blankness of his expressions, his motions disimpassioned and removed. It felt like everything that made Lance himself was locked behind a door beyond Keith’s grasp, maybe even beyond Lance’s own reach. Because Keith couldn’t stop thinking about Lance’s expression that flicker in his eye, the first sign of anything real in their entire conversation. Keith hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now he lay in bed replaying the conversation and something about it was _off_.

When Lance mentioned what Keith had read in the journal he figured Lance was going to offer some see-through apology on Hunk’s insistence to make peace before the wedding. Keith wasn’t upset that it’d been interrupted by Griffin, he didn’t want a forced apology.  

 

Except now that he really thought about it, he wasn’t so sure that was what Lance was going to say.

 

Keith rolled over to check the clock and sighed when he caught sight of the red letters reading 1:58. Hunk’s wedding was tomorrow and Keith knew he’d need his sleep if he was going to have the energy for it, yet, he couldn’t make his mind shut up. After a while of tossing and turning Keith concluded that he wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon and swung himself out of bed. Maybe some tea would help.

 

He padded down the hall to the kitchen, he was surprised to see a light on, and even more surprised to see Adam sitting at the counter his laptop lighting up his face. As Keith stepped forward Adam didn’t move unaware that there was anyone else there.

 

“Adam.” Keith said alerting him to his presence.

 

Adam startled and turned around, as he did Keith caught a glimpse of his computer screen, on it was an article with the headline _What You Can Do If Someone You Love Has Been Sexually Assaulted_.

 

“Keith!” Adam said a bit too loudly for the late hour “What are you doing up?”

 

Keith didn’t respond his eyes fixed on the article. Adam followed his gaze and he scrambled quickly slamming his laptop shut.

 

“Why were you reading that article?” Keith asked with a frown.

 

“Um, I just wanted to be educated.”

 

“On what to do if someone you love is sexually assaulted? Why?”

 

“Because you never know.” Adam shrugged but it came out a bit too choked to be nonchalant.

 

“Adam—“ Keith started but was quickly cut off.

 

“ _Keith_ ,” Adam pleaded in a very un-Adam-like manner “Please don’t ask, I can’t tell you.”

 

“Why can no one tell me anything?” Keith said exasperatedly throwing his hands in the air. “First Shiro’s acting weird, now you, and I saw Lance at the park and he was acting like he’d lost his goddamn mind, and now I can’t sleep because I don’t understand what’s going on and no one will tell me!”

 

“Wait,” Adam said basically ignoring Keith’s rant “you saw Lance?”

 

“Yes.” Keith huffed.

 

“When?”

 

“The other day. I was taking pictures at the park across from Altea and Lance was there taking his lunch break.”

 

“You talked to him?”

 

“A little, he didn’t say much, well not much that made sense at least, then Griffin showed up so I left.”

 

“I’m surprised you talked to him.” Adam said quietly “Was that the first time you have since it ended?”

 

“Well, yeah.”

 

“How was that?”

 

Keith thought back for a moment “Easier than I thought it’d be. I don’t even know why I went over to him, he just looked so wrong sitting there alone. I couldn’t just walk away,”

 

_Three years earlier_

“Do you think trees have feelings?”

 

“No.”

 

“C’mon think about it! They could.”

 

“They’re _trees,_ Lance.”

 

“I didn’t realize you were a tree expert.” He ran to the nearest tree and threw his arms around it “I’m sorry grumpy Keith doesn’t respect your feelings.”

 

Keith sighed and said to himself “The shit I put up with.” Except it wasn’t really to himself but directed at Lance who was now practically making out with the tree.

 

“You’re just jealous of my wonderful relationship with this tree!” Lance shot back.

 

“I’m devastated.” Keith deadpanned.

 

“Wow,” Lance said turning from the tree “that’s it? You never really cared, you don’t deserve me! I’m leaving you to live happily ever after with tree!”

 

“You do that.” Keith said walking away.

 

A few moments later the familiar sound of Lance’s footsteps announced his approach as he fell into step beside him. They walked in silence for a moment before Lance carefully pulled Keith’s hand into his own.

 

“Did I embarrass you?” Lance asked.

 

“There weren’t that many people around.”

 

“But I still embarrassed you.”

 

Keith shrugged “A little, but I’ll live.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“it’s okay,” I’ve always known what I was getting into with you, which includes mild embarrassment when you act like an idiot every once in a while. I mean it’s my own damn fault I could never walk away from you.”

 

Lance nudged him softly “I love you, no one else puts up with me like you do.”

 

A soft rare smile crossed Keith’s face “No one else loves you like I do.”

 

“No one.” Lance agreed.

 

 

_Two years later_

Looking back on these days it’s hard for Keith to remember. Or maybe he just prefers not to. The aftermath of losing the love of your life, it’s not any prettier of a sight than the aftermath of a hurricane. No one likes to remember that, it’s easier to just flash forward to when all the buildings have been rebuilt and the cities have been put back together again.

So Keith doesn’t think about it, lucky us though, we’re not limited by silly things like time, past, present _future_.

Was this really a year ago?

Or maybe this is all happening at once, overlapping one moment on top of another.

 

Either way, right now Keith is in his old room at Shiro’s place.

 

He was trying not to breathe, if he focused on not breathing for as long as he could, counted the seconds testing his limits, trying to set new records for himself, then he didn’t have to think. If he didn’t think he wouldn’t have to remember if he didn’t remember then he didn’t hurt. It was simple.

 

Don’t breathe, don’t think, don’t remember, don’t hurt.

 

But unfortunately, Keith needed to breathe. So eventually he let out the breath he’d been holding for one minute and thirty-three seconds.

And he just lay there, on his old bed staring at the ceiling, familiarizing himself with it.

 

Keith had always had trouble sleeping, almost every place he’d ever lived he’d memorized the cracks, and dips on the ceiling on the nights when sleep refused to take him. Not in the last apartment though, he had something better to look at.

Lance’s face as he slept.

The curve of his lips, the upturn of his nose. Every single freckle dusted across his face. Keith memorized it all. They’d been together six years, after all, Keith knew it better than anything.

And now it tortured him.

Every time he closed his eyes he could see Lance just five nights ago when he’d fallen asleep with his head on Keith’s chest. It’d been nice because Lance had been acting weird lately, staying up late doing work and not coming to bed until after even Keith was asleep. And sometimes he’d wake to find the spot beside him cool and Lance at the chair by the window illuminated by the moonlight.

 

He chuckled humorlessly to himself suddenly connecting why he’d been acting weird and distant. Lance had fucking cheated on him. Keith’s laugh turned to dry sobs and soon he was shaking his sheets wet with tears. He curled into himself his breath coming out in gasps. All he could think was that he wanted this to stop, he wanted it to not hurt anymore. He wanted to flash forward a year or two or ten to when he could think without wanting to fucking die. To when he could live his life without feeling like he’d lost a part of his soul.

 

It was hard to imagine there would be a time when he didn’t feel like that though.

 

Keith gripped his head in his hands and he tried not to breathe, he tried not to think. He really did.

He couldn’t help the image that popped into his head. A ring in a little velvet box, in with his stuff somewhere. He was going to ask Lance to marry him, he spent so much of the time when lance wasn’t around just looking at that perfect little ring, taking it out just to look at it. Now it was with the piles of camera equipment, clothes and other random belongings he’d thrown into boxes when he’d fled from his and Lance’s apartment a few days earlier while Lance was off doing god knows what.

 

After Keith had originally confronted Lance at Shiro’s place he’d taken off and Keith hadn’t seen him until days later when he finally had to spell it out to him.

 

_“I know you cheated on me. We’re done, I never want to fucking see you again!”_

But it wasn’t true. Because even now with his heart torn into pieces all he wanted was Lance. Lance, who always knew what to do to make Keith feel better.

But most of all he just wanted Lance to want him, to love him and cherish him. And he wanted to be good enough for him.

That’s what hurt the most. The day their flowers grew on each other lance promised Keith that he was all he wanted. Obviously, that was no longer true. Maybe it had never been true!

 

Keith wanted to forgive Lance, wanted to give him a chance to explain himself. But he couldn’t. That would hurt even more.

 

And now there was an engagement ring somewhere in with Keith’s things that he’d never take out again.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys I'm back with another chapter! My classes haven't killed me yet!
> 
> Now a little while ago somebody expressed to me that they didn't like this story because they felt I was making some characters into the bad guy. So I'll say now no one here is a bad guy except for Lotor. Lance is not a bad guy. Keith is not a bad guy.  
> But while of course the plot is still developing and there are parts of this story where some people may feel like the bad guys and some things may feel toxic, remember you're seeing this story from the perspective of very damaged characters. And everyone views things differently.  
> But aside from that, I did realize I hadn't properly portrayed some things like Keith's side of their breakup. So I just wanted to admit that I made some mistakes in this story, but that's okay because everybody makes mistakes. And I'm not a professional writer, I don't have editors, I'm a high school senior and sometimes my plots don't play out as smoothly as they should. But that's fine because we're just here for a good time.  
> Anyway thanks for sticking by me and my messy stories guys <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to be clear this chapter starts where we last saw Lance at the park.
> 
> (edit: I was in a rush when I posted this so please forgive me for any errors. I'll come back in and edit this once I have the time.)

“So,” James said taking Keith’s recently vacated spot beside Lance “what was he doing here?

 

“Don’t know,” Lance said distantly watching Keith’s figure grow smaller “taking pictures or something.”

 

“Okay,” James looked over Lance while his gaze was on Keith, in all honesty, he looked like shit. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

 

There was a beat before Lance responded looking away from Keith only as he turned the corner and disappeared from sight. Suddenly meeting James’ eyes he seemed to snap into himself, he seemed the clearest he’d been since James could remember. “We need to end this,” Lance said bluntly.

 

James’ mouth opened in surprise “This… you mean you and me?”

 

“Yeah, I have some things I need to tell you, I’ve been keeping a lot of secrets for a long time and I just can’t keep playing this game.

 

James knew that Lance had a complicated past, he knew there was something in him that was broken. It’s why he’d been drawn to him because the heavy way Lance carried himself while pretending he was carefree and the look in his eyes. It was something James saw in himself every time he looked in the mirror. And maybe that was a recipe for disaster from the beginning but the truth was he’d never entertained the idea that he and Lance were something that was going to last.

And so James could have been mad at Lance but looking at him now he just saw someone who was desperate as he was to have somebody to love him. Someone he’d got to know well these past few weeks and really liked being around. So he wasn’t mad.

 

“Okay,”

 

Lance turned away again his breath coming out in a puff of fog “I was dating somebody when we starting seeing each other. I didn’t say anything because I thought I was going to break up with her after the first time we kissed, but she was out of town and then I just didn’t. I think I might be a terrible person because I didn’t even feel bad about it at first. It wasn’t until last night even that I realized I needed to stop it. So I broke up with her and she was so upset. God, I hate that I put such a nice person through that, she just wanted somebody to love her and she didn’t deserve me leading her on and me seeing you while we were dating. And you didn’t deserve that either.  I’m really sorry James.”

 

James took a breath surveying Lance “I’m not going to say that it’s okay, because it’s not okay that you did that.  
 Lance stiffened as James continued “But I forgive you.”

 

Lance’s shoulders drooped in relief “I don’t deserve that.”

 

“Lance, I don’t know what you deserve, I don’t know what happened to you. But I’m not the dictator of who deserves what. I’m forgiving you because I get it, the feeling of just wanting somebody to love you. How lost you feel when the one person that was supposed to be guaranteed to do so doesn’t. I get it, Lance. It’s why I threw myself headfirst into this relationship with you because I saw somebody who was missing the same thing I am and it felt like a chance. So I forgive you because I could see myself doing something similar if I was desperate enough. And I did do a lot of terrible things when I first lost my soulmate. It was because the patience and the forgiveness of others that I was able to heal.”

 

“James,” Lance said a tear rolling down his cheek “I’m so sorry. You’re such an amazing person I wish things could have been different.”

 

James pulled Lance into a hug as he started to sob, shaking in his friend’s arms. “I’m here for you Lance,” he said quietly “I’m so glad I got to know you and I don’t want to let this go. Stay my friend, let me be in your life.”

 

Lance pulled away wiping the tears from his face. “I want that too.” He said earnestly.

 

“Good.” James smiled “C’mon, let’s get back to work before we freeze.”

 

Lance let out a shout of genuine laughter “James, I’ve been frozen for like forty-five minutes now.”

 

 --

 

 

“Are you sure you want me to come?” James asked taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“Yeah, I could use someone, you don’t have to. But I’d like you to.”

 

James shrugged “Okay, just double-checking.”

 

Lance leaned back into his chair. It was the morning before Hunk’s wedding and he and James were at Balmera Café. It being Hunk’s wedding day so he wasn’t in today but they’d chatted with James’ friend Ryan for a while which was nice. The whole place was closing at lunchtime today so the staff could attend the wedding. The entire atmosphere was electric. Amanda squealed when Lance came in bouncing up and down on her toes with excitement.

 

“I can’t believe the wedding is today!” she’d said.

 

Honestly, Lance couldn’t either. He’d been planning for so long to make Hunk’s wedding the best wedding ever. It was what his best friend deserved. Now that it was here it felt unreal. After breakfast today he was off to do his best man duties and he couldn’t wait. He felt the most alive he’d felt in a long time.

 

The bell over the door jingled and Lance knew who had come in before he even looked. He guessed he should have been used to bumping into them here.

 

After they’d ordered their food they came over. Shiro and Adam with Keith trailing uncertainty behind. It was the first time Lance had seen Shiro and Adam since his mental breakdown and Hunk’s bachelor party.

 

“Hi Lance,” Shiro said with an awkward wave “James.” He nodded. Adam waved and Keith positioned himself behind him.

 

“Hey,” James said casually.

 

Lance shifted in his chair uncomfortably and James’ eyes flicked to him, their eyes met and his brow furrowed. Lance forced a smile on his face and turned to Shiro.

 

“Hey man, excited for the wedding?”

 

“Oh yeah, I can’t believe Hunk and Shay are finally getting married.” Shiro smiled warmly.

 

“Me too. At this point, I thought it was never going to happen. Hunk’s been saying he was going to propose for years but he never did. I’m glad Shay eventually got up the nerve do to it.”

 

“Ryan knew she was going to. I’m pretty sure he’s psychic.”

 

“We get it, James,” Lance rolled his eyes “Your best friend is amazing, you love him. It’s not like you’ve mentioned this a million times.”

 

“I’ve never told them though.” James pointed out rationally. “Plus you brag about Hunk all the time, let me live.”

 

Lance put his hands up in surrender “Okay fine. You win.”

 

“It wasn’t a game, so nobody won. But if life is a game then I’m not sure who’s winning because it certainly isn’t me.”

 

Lance snorted “Hard same.”

 

At that Shiro’s expression turned from a curious one to pained and Adam physically flinched. Keith looked between the two and then to Lance in confusion.

 

Shiro took this moment to blurt out tactfully “Are you guys dating?”

 

“Nah,” James said easily somehow taking the sudden shift in stride. “We were a thing for like a month then Lance dumped me yesterday.” He laughed. “Now I’ll never find love.” He sighed dramatically.

 

“I’ll set you up with Heather.” Lance joked then his eyes widened “Oh my god! Wait, James! that’s perfect.”

 

“Wait a minute let me get this straight, you want to set me your ex, up with your other ex that I didn’t know about who you were cheating on with me?”

 

Keith’s eyes widened at this and he met Shiro’s eyes, he looked just as surprised and clearly hadn’t known this particular fact.

 

“Yes?”

 

“You’re out of your mind.”

 

“Well I mean, yeah.” it should have sounded nonchalant but instead, it came out sad.

 

“Hey, it’s okay you’re working on it,” James said his voice dropping down to a whisper just for Lance

 

Last night he’d told James everything. They’d hung out at James’ place after work like they’d been doing for a while and watched movies. In the dark of the night and the comfort of knowing James had his back, Lance said it for the first time outside of therapy.

 

_“I was sexually assaulted last year.”_

 

All the questions about Lance and things that didn’t make sense fell into place after that. James could see how this had been the thing to make him the way he was. Like he was barely alive half the time. He understood what it meant for Lance to tell him, the kind of trust it took. And he vowed to always be there for his friend.

 

Lance took a deep breath “Don’t start sprouting inspirational quotes on me now Griffin.”

 

“Don’t call me Griffin, Mclain.”

 

“Order for Adam!” Amanda called from the counter.

 

Adam went to retrieve their food leaving Keith suddenly exposed without someone to hide behind.

 

Lance looked over and their eyes met.

 

“Uh,” he started awkwardly, “Hunk told me about your _Vogue_ shoot. That’s pretty big.”

 

Keith wasn’t prepared for Lance to start a conversation with him. When they’d talked the other day Lance was barely responsive and not making much sense. Now he seemed more alert and a bit more like himself.

 

“Oh, yeah thanks,” Keith said stiffly.

 

Once again Keith could safely say he did not understand anything. The way Shiro and Adam were acting, James and Lance. Lance had cheated on James and he was just fine with it? How was that possible?

 

“Are you excited for the wedding?”

 

“I guess,” Keith said crossing his arms. Suddenly the thought of Lance cheating on James was bringing back a lot of repressed feelings. He tried to breathe as an old pang of hurt flashed in his chest. His jaw clenched at Lance’s conversation attempts. He didn’t want to talk to him.

 

“Me too,” Lance said but it was weak. It was obvious that Keith didn’t want to talk and Lance got the message.

 

He couldn’t help but feel a little hopeless. After their interaction in the park, Lance felt like he might be able to tell Keith the truth, in fact he was going to. But now he wasn’t so sure.

 

For a second lost in thought his guard dropped. He didn’t realize it. Keith did.

 

He flinched back at the look that crossed Lance’s face, so out of tune with what Keith knew Lance to be. His eyes darkened and his expression to something Keith could only describe as anguished.

 

Keith stepped back then turned and bolted. Adam looked up from where he was gathering their food surprised to see his brother-in-law leaving.

 

“Takashi,” Adam said, “where’s Keith going?”

 

“I have no idea.” Shiro shook his head.

 

 --

 

“He’s never going to forgive me,” Lance said slumping over in his chair.

 

“He thinks you cheated on him.” James pointed out “I think he would if you told him the truth.”

 

“I’m afraid.” Lance admitted “Right now I can imagine that he might forgive me, but if I actually tell him then I’ll know for sure. And if he doesn’t then I can never go back to believing he might.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys the response to the last chapter was huge! Basically everyone was begging me for Keith to find out everything. Don't worry it'll happen... eventually ;)
> 
> Anyway the wedding is next chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

James leaned against the wall looking up and down the hallway. When he found nothing to interest him he pulled his phone out of his suit pocket. He laughed as he opened a Snapchat story from Ryan of his failed attempt to tie his tie. He was of course coming to the wedding since he worked with Hunk, and unfortunately, his friend was hopeless when it came to ties and always felt the need to record everything.

 

Lance was off somewhere setting things up and overall being a bossy wedding-planner-zilla. He guessed he couldn’t complain because Lance was Altea’s best event planner, and it wasn’t like James didn’t find himself getting like that when he planned big events. This one was especially important to Lance since it was his best friend’s wedding.

James had his fair share of weddings and he knew to stay out of the way while things were getting set up so he went to find a quiet spot of the venue to wait until things were actually ready for guests. That spot happened to be the hallway he was in right now.

 

He watched a few more stories to pass time then scrolled through his other social media. It was while he was watching a compilation of funny cat videos that a pair of footsteps came down the hallway. James looked up to see Keith who seemed surprised to find someone else there.

 

“Hi,” James waved.

 

“Uh,” Keith said eloquently “Hi. I was just looking for somewhere quiet to go…”

 

“Cool, well you found one.”  James shrugged easily. He shoved his phone back into his pocket “I’m not a planner for this event so I figured I should get out of the way. No need to add to the chaos.”

 

“That makes sense.” Keith shifted uncomfortably.

 

“Sure does.” James leaned back casually.

 

Keith nodded and took a step backward ready to leave.

 

“Wait,” James said.

 

Normally Keith wouldn’t have stopped but the change in Griffin’s demeanor was striking. The casual way he acted was suddenly serious, almost dark, and Keith had a feeling that he was seeing a version of James people didn’t often. A shadow of someone he used to be. It reminded him of Lance, it reminded him of himself almost.

 

The side of Keith that came out sometimes, angry, dark, scarred, leftover from when he was young and his mother left him, his dad died and he was alone. Before Shiro, the brother he didn’t know he had come to rescue him, and he was just a kid trying to make it on his own in a world that didn’t want him.

 

Keith knew his own story, he didn’t know Griffin’s. And the truth was he didn’t know Lance’s either, but he had a feeling Griffin did.

 

So instead of walking away like he wanted to, he asked: “What?”

 

“I need to talk to you about something. It’s actually kind of convenient that showed up.”

 

“Does this have something to do with Lance?”

 

“Yeah,” Griffin nodded. “you may have noticed but he’s been having a hard time.”

 

“I mean I haven’t exactly seen him a lot, but I guess he’s seemed weird. But he’s been like that since before we split. He cheated on me you know, obviously, the guy has issues.”

 

Griffin grimaced “Here’s the thing, he needs to talk to you and I think you need to listen. I know you hate him or whatever but please give him a chance.”

 

“I don’t hate him,” Keith said.

 

“Really?” Griffin raised his eyebrows.

 

“Well, yeah. He broke my heart and that sucked,” Keith said which was in his opinion, the understatement of the century “but I’ve never hated him.”

 

“Good, then you’ll listen to him?”

 

“I mean, sure. But I really don’t understand what’s going on. Everyone’s been acting weird, my brother and Adam won’t give me any answers and now you’re asking me to listen to Lance if he comes to me but won’t tell me why he’d even do that.”

 

Griffin shrugged a mirror of his earlier ease “Talk to Lance.” He gave Keith a two-finger salute and started down the hallway “I’m gonna go see if I can go out there without getting in the way now. I’ll see you around Keith.”

 

He turned his back and Keith was left in the hallway by himself wondering what the fucking hell was going on.

 

 

\--

 

Lance took a deep breath surveying his surroundings. He felt a little rush of pride looking around at the venue, it was beautiful. The chairs were draped with yellow and white, the traditional flower petals representative of Hunk and Shay’s marks lined the aisle, the sun was coming through the floor to ceiling windows and outside the sky was that perfect winter blue. But inside felt like a little slice of summer.

 

Lance smiled and set off to find Hunk to complete his best man duties.

 

\--

 

“Oh my gosh,” Lance gushed “Hunk! You look so good. Shay is just going to drop I swear.”

 

“You’re sure it’s not too much? I know my mom wanted me to wear a black suit. Yellow is not very traditional.”

 

“Eh, who cares? You wanted to wear it and it’s your wedding, not your mother’s.”

 

Hunk took a deep breath “You’re right. I’m just so nervous. What if something goes wrong?”

 

“Don’t be,” Lance said reassuringly “I’ve planned everything perfectly. You know me, Altea’s best wedding planner. I’ve got you, bro. “

 

“Of course. Your weddings are amazing.”

 

“I know.” Lance laughed cheekily “c’mon, let’s get out there.”

 

\--

 

Hunk cried when the doors opened and Shay came down the aisle. She looked stunning in a white dress with yellow flowers embroidered into the gown and her hair styled into a crown braid, pieces perfectly left out to frame her face. She looked every part the glowing bride. Lance had never felt happier for his best friend. He was so glad Hunk got his happily ever after, and for the first time since he lost Keith, Lance thought that maybe he wouldn’t mind sticking to wedding planning after all. Just because he never got to live that dream didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy bringing that dream to other people.

 

\--

 

 

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

 

The room erupted in cheers and Lance smiled so hard he thought his cheeks were going to split as Hunk and Shay shared their first kiss as a married couple.

 

 

\--

 

 

Hunk swayed on the dancefloor with Shay’s head on his chest.

 

“ _One night he wakes, strange look on his face pauses, then says, you're my best friend and you knew what it was, he is in love_ ,”

 

The music swelled and Lance brushed a tear from his face.

 

 

\--

 

 

“How do you feel? You’re officially a married man.” Lance asked near the end of the night after most of the guests had left and the reception had died down.

 

Hunk beamed “Incredible.”

 

 

\--

 

 

Lance sighed pushing back his hair as people flitted around the venue taking down decorations and cleaning up. Today had been a success if he did say so himself.

 

“Hey,” James called to Lance “Is it okay if I head out?”

 

“Of course,” Lance smiled.

 

James made his way over to Lance “Thanks for today, it’s been a while since I’ve been to a wedding that I wasn’t planning, it was nice.” 

 

“I’m glad, I certainly worked my ass off to make this wedding nice.”

 

“And it paid off. The wedding was beautiful.”

 

“Thanks. “ Lance smiled in a faint distant kind of way and James lightly grabbed Lance’s wrist. As he did Lance came back to himself.

 

James frowned. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Lance nodded “sometimes when I’m tired it just gets a little hard to stay in myself, which I know doesn’t make sense,” Lance shrugged “but it’s just what happens.”

 

“Should I stay?”

 

“No, go home I’m fine really just exhausted.”

 

“Okay,” James said reluctantly “Call me if you need anything, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Kay,”

 

James pulled Lance into a tight hug, when they stepped back he gave a little wave and disappeared through the door.

 

“I didn’t realize you and James were a thing.” A voice said from behind him.

 

Lance jumped and spun to face Allura who looked gorgeous as always in a pale satin blue dress. “Um, we’re not.”

 

“Really?” She raised her perfectly done eyebrows, clearly unconvinced.

 

“Yeah, I mean we dated for a little while but we’re not together now.”

 

“Wait, what?” Allura said loudly “When was this?”

 

“We broke up like a week ago.”

 

“A week ago? What happened to Heather?”

 

“I broke up with her too.”

 

“When?”

 

“Um,” Lance cleared his throat “a week ago.”

 

Allura frowned “Lance—” she started but was cut off by Shiro approaching with Adam and Keith in tow.

 

“Oh, I hope we're not interrupting,” Shiro said taking in Allura who was paused mid-sentence.

 

“Nope!” Lance cut in quickly.

 

Shiro looked confused for a moment but thankfully seemed to take the hint “Oh okay, well we’re gonna head out. You did an amazing job on this wedding Lance, Hunk is lucky to have a friend like you.” Shiro smiled warmly “So is Altea.” He said gesturing to Allura.

 

Her brow furrowed still clearly contemplating the conversation she’d been having with Lance before Shiro had interrupted. “Oh yes!” She said after a moment “We’re very lucky to have him,” she turned to Lance “and I hope you’ll reconsider doing weddings, I know you said you wanted to focus more on other events but your weddings are truly phenomenal.”

 

“I have,” Lance said suddenly.

 

“Huh?” Allura asked a little taken aback

 

“Uh, I mean I’ve reconsidered. I’d like to keep doing weddings,” he cleared his throat “I mean if that’s okay.”

 

“Of course it’s okay.” Allura frowned “I just said I wanted you to continue doing them.”

 

“Right,”

 

Her frowned deepened “You know, you’ve been acting quite strange lately, is everything okay?”

 

“Yes!” Lance said a bit too forcefully “I mean,” he grimaced “yeah, everything’s fine.”

 

“Okay…” Allura said seeming unconvinced “Well I’ll see you at work Lance, and Shiro, Adam, Keith, I’ll see for dinner at my place next?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Adam smiled we’ll be there. “Got to get Keith to socialize while we can before he heads back to the city.” He joked.

 

“Hey,” Keith said with a glare.

 

Adam playfully ruffled his brother-in-law’s hair in response causing Keith’s glare to get even sharper.

 

Keith crossed his arms and Shiro smiled affectionately at his family.

 

“Okay, well we should really get going now, we’ll see you guys soon.”

 

They exchanged hugs and goodbye and then they set off. Lance watched them go thoughts racing through his head at lightning speed. In a split-second decision, he called out;

 

“Wait, Keith.” Keith spun to face Lance and Shiro and Adam exchanged quick looks.

 

“Yeah?

 

“I need to talk to you about something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys are going to hate me for this cliffhanger. Sorry (not sorry).
> 
> But the next chapter will be up this week because I finished my first semester of classes and I'm currently on break!!!  
> Also um there's five chapters left in this fic (ideally) so we're in the endgame now! 
> 
> In other news, I realized that my page breaks weren't showing up on here when I pasted it from Word so I had to change that. I'm a disaster :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof okay here's the chapter y'all have been at my throat for.

 

“What is it?” Keith asked.

 

Lance hesitated. He thought he could do it…

 

 But he couldn’t.

 

Lance let out a breath, deflating. “Uh, you know what, never mind. It’s not important, I’ll see you around.”

 

“Oh… okay.” Keith said unsurely “see you.”

 

He turned and Lance watched him go a lump in his chest.

 

At home that night Lance cried. He normally tried to fight tears but this time he couldn’t stop it. He curled into himself and just sobbed. He felt so hopeless.

 

It felt like no matter how much progress he made, he always wound up taking a step back. He told Dr. Elder this the next day.

 

“I just feel like such a coward and I’m so angry with myself. Why couldn’t I do it?”

 

“You weren’t ready Lance, that doesn’t make you a coward. This is something you need to do in your own time, don’t try to force it.”

 

“I thought I was ready,” Lance said dejectedly.

 

“And maybe for a while you were, but humans fluctuate. Things are constantly changing and _you’re_ constantly changing. It’s not taking a step back, simply a bump in the road which I believe you can overcome. Recovery is a long process Lance, you can’t just go to one therapy appointment and tell a few people and expect yourself to become better.”

 

“But I want to be better. I’ve been faking it for so long and now that I finally accepted that I’m a fucking mess suddenly I can’t control anything. I can’t act like myself anymore.”

 

“Have you ever considered that maybe you don’t need to act the same as you were before? Maybe that’s not yourself anymore.”

 

“Then who am I?”

 

Dr. Elder frowned “I think that’s something you have to figure out. But you shouldn’t feel pressure to try and become like you were before you were assaulted. Going through a trauma like that changes you, and that’s okay. Try to practice patience with yourself. One of the best things you can do is give yourself time.

 

“I’m trying,” Lance said frustrated “but I just want to feel okay now, I don’t want to waste more time feeling like shit.”

 

“I understand that,” she said gently “but think about it, have you ever watched a movie or read a book about a person’s recovery from some sort of trauma?”

 

“Yeah,” he replied unsure where this was leading.

 

“Well, what usually happens in those movies?”

 

“Um, they meet somebody or do something, or some other life-changing events and they get better.”

 

“Exactly, you’re thinking of this in terms of fiction. In real life, you can’t just turn the page to a different part of your life. You don’t suddenly become better just because you want to. Things usually don’t just fall into place, and you can’t always resolve everything before the last chapter. This isn’t fiction Lance this is your life, and it’s incredibly important that you treat it with kindness and patience.”

 

“I-I think I can do that.”

 

She smiled warmly “I think you can too.”

 

 

\--

 

“Hey, Lance!” Allura greeted excitedly “come in”

 

“Hey Allura, thanks for inviting me.”

 

“Of course! It’s been a while since everyone got together so I wanted to do this. Well everyone minus Hunk of course but he’s on his honeymoon so he can’t really complain.”

 

“No definitely not,” Lance laughed.

 

Allura led him inside and to the living room where Pidge, Matt, Keith, Adam, and Shiro were gathered chatting easily.

 

“Hey Lance,” Matt greeted.

 

Pidge bounded over and hugged Lance tightly “I didn’t really get to talk to you at the wedding,” she said as she released him.

 

“Yeah, sorry I was kind of busy and then you left early.”

 

“I need my sleep.” She said seriously.

 

“Of course, no one wants to deal with a tired Pidge demon.”

 

She elbowed him in the ribs.

 

“Ouch!” Lance complained. He tried to elbow her back she dodged and so accepting defeat he collapsed on the couch next to Matt.

 

“So, how have you been Lance?” Matt tried to sound casual but the question was clearly loaded.

 

“Um,” Lance paused thinking over his answer for a moment before deciding that telling the truth “pretty good today.”

 

“Today?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Not yesterday though?”

 

Lance shrugged “I take what I can get.”

 

“Well, I’d say that’s not the worst way to live,” Matt said.

 

“Oh, definitely not.” Lance chuckled. “But what about you? You were on some trip recently, right?”

 

“Oh yeah!” Matt said excitedly launching into a long speech about the technological advancements he was working on with the Galaxy Garrison.

 

Unfortunately, everyone but Lance, Allura and Keith were very interested in hearing about this so Matt spent a good hour talking about it until Allura, bless her soul announced that dinner was ready and they could eat.

 

“This is delicious,” Lance told Allura as he loaded his plate.

 

“Thanks, though I admit I had help from Romelle. when she told me she couldn’t be here tonight I was panicked because I cannot handle cooking an entire meal on my own, but she helped out before she left.”

 

“Aw, you should have told me, I would have helped. You know how big my family is, I’m used to cooking large meals.”

 

“Yes, well I’ll ask you next time. I just figured you needed a break, Hunk’s wedding was only days ago after all.”

 

“God, a part of me can’t believe it’s over. We’ve been working on that wedding for so long it feels unreal.”

 

“How long have you been working on it? Two years or something right?” Keith asked.    

 

The conversation stuttered for a moment the mood in the room suddenly becoming cautious. Keith didn’t really engage conversation with Lance anymore but Lance feeling good after his therapy session today took it in stride.

 

“19 months.” Lance said shaking his head “pretty long time.”

 

“Wow, yeah.” Keith agreed.

 

“What are you planning next?” Shiro asked.

 

“Well, I have a few more weddings taking place in the next few months but then I’ll be open for some new projects.”

 

“Like Shannon Mendelson’s wedding?” Allura suggested.

 

Lance froze his mouth open in surprise “Shannon Mendelson?” he asked.

 

Allura bounced in her seat excitedly “I wanted to tell you but then you said you didn’t want weddings anymore, but I really wanted you to plan it. Well, with some help, it’ll be the biggest wedding Altea has ever undertaken! I was thinking James could be your co, you two seem to work well together.”

 

“Oh my god.” Lance said still in shock “Shannon Mendelson is a reality TV star!”

 

“Yes,” Allura said beaming.

“And she came to us to plan her wedding?”

 

“She said she wanted her wedding to be different than every other celebrity, which meant choosing a planner that hadn’t been used by other celebs a million times. Her fiancée grew up around here so they're having the wedding close by, and I guess Altea has made quite a name for itself, so she chose us.”

 

“Oh my god,” Lance said for the second time “that’s incredible. But why chose me to plan it?”

 

“Well firstly, you’re one of our best planners. Secondly, you’re amazing with people, especially celebrity types, your personality is great with customers.

 

“Oh,” Lance said suddenly deflating a little “But Allura, my personality isn’t the same anymore.”

 

She frowned “I’m not sure what you mean.”

 

“It’s—“ he started but then paused unsure of how he could explain it “never mind, James will have my back so it’ll be fine.”

 

“Okay?” She said questioningly but moved on nonetheless “I must say I’m surprised that you and James have become such good friends. I didn’t expect that.”

 

Lance snorted “neither did I, but I guess some of the best things in life are the things you’re not expecting.”

 

“That’s awfully deep,” Pidge said with a raised eyebrow.

 

“My therapist said it, trust me I’m not that wise. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure she’s some kind of immortal or old god because she just knows the answers to everything.”

 

“Sounds like Rachel.” Pidge said “That sister of yours creeps me out. She’s way too deep.”

 

“That’s funny, I thought she reminded me of Rachel too, probably why I like her so much.”

 

“Oh, that reminds me of something Matt did!” Pidge said and promptly launched into a long tale about Matt striking up a friendship with some apparently psychic homeless man he met in the streets.

 

The rest of the night passed fairly easily but by the time dinner was finished and everyone was moving back into the living room Lance was a little burnt out.

 

“I’m gonna go get some air if that’s alright.” He said.

 

“Of course.” Allura handed him his coat “Don’t catch a cold.”

 

Lance rolled his eyes “Okay mom. I’ll be right back.”

 

He pulled on his coat and stepped onto Allura’s front porch.

 

It’d been stormy and snowy the past few nights, but tonight the sky was clear and Lance sighed leaning against the railing his breath coming out in a puff, floating in the winter air for a moment. He looked up at the stars and was suddenly hit with a flashback. It was unlike the harsh ones he’d become used to full of anger, pain, and panic. Instead it was a simple memory of the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling when he was a kid. Before he knew how cruel life could be. He closed his eyes relishing in the memory of a simpler time.

 

Lance heard the front door open and footsteps approach him. He didn’t open his eyes for a moment, but when he did Keith was standing beside him.

 

“What were you going to tell me the other day, at Hunk’s wedding?” He started blunt as ever

 

Lance took a deep breath, he didn’t feel panicked like he did the other day, in fact, he felt almost at peace, if not a bit anxious. More like that moment in the park when he’d been about to tell Keith everything.

“I told you, it was nothing.”

 

“But it wasn’t!” Keith protested “I know it wasn’t. Everyone has been acting so weird and they’re telling me to be patient with you and give you a chance and listen if you approach me. But I don’t understand why and no one will tell me.”

 

“Who told you to give me a chance?”

 

“Griffin.”

 

Lance chuckled dryly “Of course he did, what an asshole always looking out for me.”

 

“Lance.” Keith pleaded.

 

Lance turned to meet his eyes his hands shaking. Their gazes locked for a moment and a million thoughts raced through Lance’s head, but only one stood out. He thought he was ready, of course, there was really no way to know if now was the right time. But maybe it was time to take a chance.

 

“I didn’t cheat on you,” Lance said breaking his eyes away from Keith’s.

 

Keith took a step back “That’s bullshit Lance, don’t fucking play games with me.”

 

“No, wait! I mean, I did but I didn’t want to.”

 

“Then why did you?” Keith said angrily.

 

Lance froze, he knew what he needed to say but he couldn’t form the words.

 

Keith shook his head in disgust at Lance’s silence and started back towards the door.

 

“I was sexually assaulted,” Lance said quietly.

 

Keith froze mid-step before turning back around his face uncertain, thinking maybe he'd heard him wrong. “What?”

 

“I was sexually assaulted. “ Lance said again, this time a little louder, his voice shaking. “I didn’t want to cheat on you but he forced me. He threatened you and my family and he said if I didn’t he'd kill me.”

 

Keith still didn’t speak so Lance continued.

 

“I wanted to tell you but then you read my journal and thought I cheated on you, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell you the truth, I couldn’t even admit it to myself until recently. And… I wasn’t even sure if you’d believe me.”

 

“Oh my god.” Keith said running his fingers through his hair “I-I believe you.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Of course Lance, of course.”

 

“I didn’t think you would, even now,” Lance admitted.

 

“I’m so sorry Lance,” Keith said not bothering to wipe away the tears that were streaming down his face. “I thought I wasn’t good enough for you, that’s why you cheated. It never crossed my mind that… oh god.” He trailed off.

 

“You couldn’t have known, I didn’t tell you.”

 

“But I’m your soulmate. I should have figured it out somehow.”

 

“You’re my soulmate, not magic.” Lance protested. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“It’s not yours either.”

 

“Yeah, I think I know that now. I-I didn’t for a long time, I’ve been in such a bad place and pretending for so long. I thought I’d never be okay but now… I think I will, someday.”

 

“Is that because you’re seeing a therapist now?  

 

“That and a few other things too. Hunk suggested it, and I don’t know, I knew he was worried about me so I took his advice. Also, I had a huge breakdown in front of everyone at his bachelor party, and once everyone knew, it was hard to not get help. I broke things off with Heather and James and I told him everything. He’s really helped me.”

 

Keith shook his head “Y’know I never liked Griffin. Clearly, I was wrong about him. I’m really glad you have someone like him who’s there for you.”

 

“Yeah, me too. Y’know when I was little and used to dream about being grown up and my soulmate, this wasn’t the life I was expecting. None of this was what I thought it’d be. James certainly wasn’t, but I feel like there’s still time to make something good out of my life.”

 

“There is.” Keith said earnestly “You can make it whatever you want it to be. If you can put together massive beautiful weddings, I have faith that you can put your life back together. Except you’re not just the one planning it, you’re the one who gets to decide what it’s going to be. Not a client or someone else, you.”

 

“Wow, Keith that’s surprisingly insightful. You’re right.”

 

“When am I not?” He joked.

 

“When you thought that I purposely cheated on you.” Lance pointed out. Keith grimaced and Lance laughed “Too soon?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Keith answered.

 

The fell into a silence that was both heavy but also surprisingly easy. They had a long way to go, but the bitterness and hate between them had changed into a contradictory sad sort of hopefulness.

 

“I don’t want to plan Shannon Mendelson’s wedding,” Lance said suddenly breaking the silence.

 

Keith turned to meet his eyes confused “But I thought you decided you still wanted to plan weddings?”

 

“I did, I do want to plan weddings. But not now. I’m not ready yet, you’re right about taking control of my life. Before I can plan any weddings, I need to plan to be happy.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I've got some big serious talk. This fic is almost over, in my original outline I planned for 20 chapters but honestly, I think I might end up with less maybe 17 or 18 instead. But either way, there's only a little bit left.
> 
> In all honesty, I know first hand the kind of impact sexual assault has on a person's life. I started this fic as a way to deal with this safely. I was incredibly obsessed with vld at the time and so I chose to write this story. Yes, this is technically a klance fic but I hope you get more out of it than that. Being able to write these emotions into these characters and put this real-life thing into fiction has helped me a lot and it's my hope that the ending of this story will put some things into perspective and help some people too. 
> 
> I'm a little scared that the ending isn't going to be what you guys wanted from me but I've had it planned for a while and I truly feel that the way I'm ending it is the only logical way I could. So look out for the ending coming to you soon, I'm so excited for you guys to read it. <3 <3
> 
> Thank you to everyone who comments on my fic, it really keeps me writing and I'm so excited to be sharing the journey of this fic with you guys.


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